hierocles-X

15.01.12; Paradise

2012-01-15T16:25:00.000+08:00

[ source: coldplaymania.tumblr.com ]

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
and dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
and the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly

and dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
She'd dream of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh

lalalalalalalalalalala
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say, "oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise"

This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
This could be
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh

Thanks all for the wishes.

Wish you could have been there though. That effort trying to dress up should have been meant for you. [x] doesn't care what I wear. At least, not in front of everyone else. [x] dared to call me b[x]. After all that happened, as if [x] didn't know. I hope [x] knows the feeling now. I hope it scares [x]. Anyway, I really shouldn't have read that weird Martian fic... xD... Now I'll be trying to dress like fem!Seb... with some Gaga craziness. Damn, but I'd have to do it a Seb wig... haha.... gosh... It sounds really funny though! I should try it soon... Eheh.

-Zan

[ I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you ]

30.12.11; Untitled.

2011-12-30T21:39:00.003+08:00

{ defying gravity }

Am I just being emotional or something.
Well, whatever it is, I think you should just understand that this is one of the more environmentally-friendly platforms that I use to actually portray and express my thoughts, opinions and feelings. If I were to write all this on paper, 1: I don't write fast enough to capture everything, 2: I'd be wasting a whole lot of paper, 3: You'd probably find it. So I just write it here, seeing as there is nothing I'd like to spam on T and there's nothing interesting for me to do on T as of now.
So you say, you don't want me to be on the Internet 'at such a late hour' during school days. Well, it's hardly 2130h, so this is definitely still very very early. Note to you I am not five anymore. And during schooldays, I'd probably be in the right mind to be doing my schoolwork til late, and then maybe stealing a few minutes of Internet time after that. Do you seriously think I'd be using the Internet til this 'late' and do my homework after this? You are very, very wrong.
You don't even know what I'm doing on the Internet. The Internet isn't just for me to talk to strangers, thank you very much. O has already got that under their wing. I'm not that interested. Felix, Lorenz, Kenneth and Anna aren't strangers. They're my friends. Especially Lorenz, who actually bothers to talk to me. Hi Lorenz you rock.
It's not like I can rant to you like this, 1: You'd probably not understand a word I'd have spewn out, 2: You'd probably disown me or something. You play an important enough part, thank you. There's no need for more. But really though, if only you knew.

We're all waiting for something, aren't we? I guess I'll be waiting for your full attention til then, but then again, that's when the first GP starts, so I have no idea how hectic it's going to be. The break in August... I guess that leaves me with no GPs to deal with the NDP squad and exams. September is going to be hectic, I guess. With me spazzing every day or something.
So anyway, I hope you don't forget, you're always first. I guess I just needed [x] to fill up the time while you're busy with the rest of them. Remember me, alright. I can see that you are, just that sometimes you're just too cooped up in the tension and preparation that you forget that I'm here. I am, always waiting for you, always waiting to pick up where you left off. I hope I'm still good enough for you. I hope you remember me. 'Cause I've been waiting, ja?

On a lighter note, we're going to be the only batch who experienced Fiesta twice. I believe it's going to come in the middle of the year, so. I hope it's fun. We had so much fun the last Fiesta, so many memories. Even though the preparations weren't as good, but we still did well. I hope everything will turn out awesome during next year's. I think I'm going to dedicate some German punk rock to everyone early in the morning c: Wishing that there's gonna be FDC, always pulls in the crowds. And I actually think doing the saloon thing is quite cool, for G. Just like three years ago. So anyway, I wonder what my class would do. Hmm, no one seems interested in doing anything, actually. I guess it'd have to be something pretty crazy and whacky to get the whole class to participate and DO something. Hmm.

I guess that's all for now.

-Zan
[ Caught in a bad romance ]

30.12.11; A dreaded date

2011-12-30T19:51:00.000+08:00

Hello everyone. Again.
So, tomorrow's New Year's Eve.
And quoting [x], I'll be having a wonderful date. With my homework.
I hope I can bring myself to do some more questions later.
I still have more than 15, I guess.
It's alot.
I don't like it. At all.

You're having a rough day.
Wish I could be by your side, and snuggle up, try to make everything okay again.
Hmm.
Dinner's going to be ready soon.

Please have a good day, or rather, night.
You'll be haunting my dreams, otherwise.
Do you read this blog? I'm always wondering.
It seems like I'm back to my old way of posting, haha.
This is amusing.
I think the new layout is interesting too. The background pic's from fuckinggermans.tumblr
It's a nice blog.
You should check it out sometime.

I need to be more understanding and stop being a bitch and put myself in your shoes and shut the fucking hell up.

-Zan
[ yours, for eternity ]
PS. Your squad isn't the only one that's there for you. There's me.

30.12.11

2011-12-30T09:38:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling so random now O3O
Err, she tweeted, but didn't reply my SMS... okay can.
Anyway, I hope she has a good time, or rather, perseveres through everything.
I'm kinda bored so I think I'll make a cool little house for my drivers c:
I have this itching feeling to mess around with Ferrari kids now...
Or should I just place a copy of Sebson? Nahh, Ferrari it shall be hoho.
Who's gonna be the girl though... hmm.
Ohh Gott I know who.
Princess Nico.
Hah.
That sounds fun.
I'm gonna leave you all with a little Seb.

-Zan
[ sweet dreams are made of these, who am I to disagree? ]

29.12.11; The Past, The Present and the unidentifiable Future

2011-12-29T18:40:00.001+08:00

So. I'm just here to write to you the whole of "The Drama".

But before that, I'd just like to point out that I accidentally logged into Blogger using my other email. Then I found my blogs from five years ago. I was, well young and brash at the time, and the way I typed amused me very much. It was very... abbreviated, though not as annoying as this generation's internet speech. It's funny, because my juniors type with the kind of language I used five years ago. My juniors are only two years younger than me. Hmm. Well and I found my blogs kind of cute c: Haha. Well on to the real story then.

Alright, so. It all started out when [x] got into APH, so she got all, obsessed and fangirly over it. More than me. Which is why when she fangirls to me now I just nod and smile knowingly. I'm past that rabid stage. Okay, so as I was saying, she got into APH, and said that I was very much like Ludwig, and she could be Feliciano and [x] could be Kiku. I got closer and closer to [x], and [x] tried to stick to the both of us like glue, though, we weren't really keen on the whole thing all together. So then I knew about [x]'s job in her CCA, so I decided, why not invite her over during one of our [x] lessons during [x] session? I thought it would be harmless. Turns out it was where it all began. I was a chivalrous pig I guess. Since then, I messaged her alot, mostly using in-character, roleplaying as Ludwig. I got into it very very much. In fact, all three of us did. We were the 'Axis', weren't we?
So then it went on, and then not long after that, [x]'s [x] found out, so then she brought it to [x], who then told [x], and so all of the [x] had a meeting, a conference if you'd like. We were supposed to be over. I guess.

Whatever. Fuck you [x]. Haha.

Then I wrote a 'where will I be in a year' and am planning to give it to Jenson so [x] can give it to me next chalet. I'm sure I'm going to cry when I read it again.

-Zan
[ I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way ]

05.06.11

2011-06-05T14:58:00.000+08:00

PS. wish you were here.

29.04.11

2011-04-29T21:25:00.000+08:00

? is annoying.
is it wrong, to try and want to help someone in need?
am i to live only for my own selfish rights?
oh no, i'm sorry, what i meant was, am i to live for YOUR own selfish wants?
i don't seem to have much purpose. you seem to imply that my purpose is to live out YOUR unrealised dreams and aspirations.
do you really think that you can set the path for me?
i make my own paths, and if i fall, i will pick myself up again.
you don't need to push and kick me from behind, and force me onto the path you have chosen.
no matter how hard it is, i will dig and grovel in the dirt. i will pave my own path
and you will have no say in that
it is funny
because you don't seem to understand the altruistic motives that i posses
you are the one who said that when i was all grown up, that i was to help the poor and the needy,
to never be selfish and think for myself only.
and yet now, as i want to help others,
you nag and complain, and refuse to allow me to do this
i have no idea where you are getting at
practice what you preach
or there will be no impact, only oxymorons.
and it seems like you don't know what the world expects of me, has in store for me
you don't know how i am there
you don't know how i am looked at there
you don't know the expectations that they have for me there.
i am a foot soldier no more
you dont seem to realise that
because you have confined yourself to this little place
you don't understand how different it is, the me here, and the me when i am speaking to them
you don't know what i have sacrificed to be there
ofcourse you don't
you don't even know half the story

-Zan
[ the flag sinks over the dead who still live ]

10.04.11

2011-04-10T14:46:00.000+08:00

Can't ? just understand what the fuck I'm trying to do.
Can you not see that my screen says DROUGHTS IN CYPRUS, MEDROPLAN etc.
Can't you see that I'm not watching any fucking videos.
And ?, you think I'm slack? Well fick dich.
What about the other annoying shit people huh?
You want me to be like them?
That's good isn't it? No 'PERSONALITY', extremely obsessed about academics, not caring about the freaking cca in the first place. Yes, put them in charge, will you? I'm sure they can get that double gold.
not me.

22.02.2011

2011-02-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

16.01.11

2011-01-16T12:39:00.000+08:00

let me just post a random picture here which has no relation to what i'm going to be ranting about today.

{ unpleasant memories... }

now moving on.

okay, so I just read this little newspaper article about how parents should be raising their children.

maybe my point of view is heavily biased, being a teen myself.

but well, guys just hear me out on this one.

not expecting anyone to actually read this but whatever.

i have a sudden urge to write this out..

(( seeing as to how I no longer have a retarded notebook to write nonsense in... ))

let's try to go point by point.

no sleepovers...

personally I believe that 'NO' is a little too harsh?

Maybe not too often, maybe once in a blue moon?

Have you ever thought about the fact that it's better to sleepover at a friend's house than to go home late at night? isn't there actually more risk, in going home at night?

why not wait til morning?

Okay, maybe no sleepovers at opposite-sex friends' houses.

That seems to make a lot more sense....

Next, playdates.

Are you freaking serious...

You guys just know what's wrong with this right.

being in a school play.

being in a school play, it might require some commitment and might take up some of your time, but it's one of the few interesting things you get to do in school, which brings you out of your personal bubble and out of the usual things you do.

besides, having more commitments will train you to handle stress better.

it has benefits.

and when the actual day comes around for the play, you'll have that sense of satisfaction that it all went well and you enjoyed yourself.

you'll learn to work with different kinds of people who might or might not share the same passion as you for acting.

and if you have the passion for acting and performing arts, seriously, being suppressed is just going to annoy you and you'll find some way or another to somehow involve yourself in something like this hopefully without your parents knowing.

isn't that worse...

at least for school plays, the rehearsals can be monitored and they actually give you consent forms before you actually get to go for it.

complaining.

not letting kids complain is just going to lead them into badmouthing about you to their friends and potentially their friends' parents.

or their blogs, and potentially the world. it is the internet...

watch tv or play computer games.

personally for me, my parents don't restrict me from watching tv, but i hardly watch it anyway.

i CHOOSE not to watch it.

mainly because since i was young my parents didn't really have a thing for watching tv, so automatically i believed that tv wasn't really so interesting and thus did not receive much of my attention for the most part.

i only watched tv for news...

when i have the time to.

so yes, if you don't watch dramas and tv shows and movies on the tv, you'll convince the kids into not watching tv.

they really do follow what you do, and you have a heavy influence on them.

for computer games, perhaps maybe the boys, but for girls its mainly just surfing and chatting on the computer...

this is what i realised from my friends...

well, so i have an older brother, and since i could remember, he was always on the computer, playing computer games.

he never did let me play them, except for maybe one or two times, but he did invite me to sit beside him to watch him play. he still does, actually. the end result is me being convinced that computer games are out of my reach...and me knowing more about computer games without actually playing them.

Which makes it a good topic to discuss with my guy friends when they decide to burst into compunerd mode.

though, because my brother frequently used the computer, i do use it alot, i guess.

but school and school work already naturally curbs the amount of time you CAN spend on the computer.

choosing your own CCA.

well, i guess your cca reflects something about yourself, your interests, etc...

so for example if you're into dance, and your parents choose something like infocomm club for you,

i assure you that you will not fit into the crowd.

if you do, then well you probably already gave up on dance.

seriously gais.

-Zan

[ um, well, if you please, dance more and more ]

14.01.11; the day of awesome.

2011-01-14T23:59:00.000+08:00

zo. i'm gonna try to recall the details of today!
hahaa...hopefully from start to end.

0001; these people who had nothing else better to do went to wish me happybirthday! xD. Sadly was too focused on doing Guides powerpoint.
woke up and got writer's block + pen and vunderful card
came to school, to be glomped xD
everyone suddenly started shouting happy birthday...not together, mind you xD
started shouting thank you back at them....
drew my own 7-tier cake, with wurst and German bier :D
two people donated a $1 to drag the board with the awesome Prussia and 7-tier cake on it in front of our class
passed around weird chewy sweets and got the surplus 8D
recess, had the biggest surprise ever...cake with "memories" bored with kiddy art skills :D
being given all sorts of notes...even the ones in Greek... :)
came back to class, and more sweets were on my table with some other goodies...
end of school
went for guides, where the sec3s screamed a good happy bday xD
had drills, where I got to scream NEIN!
had drills ;DD
acted like america/iggy/furasuu~
xD
went to eat dinner
fries/salad/PASTAA~!/fried ice-cream
got VANS and a new blazer for TIME LIMIT / mafia
went home to see wall spammed with birthday wishes...

thanks alot for the awesome day, guys!

-Zan
[ ich habe sauerkraut, in meinen lederhosen ]

01.01.11

2011-01-01T11:04:00.000+08:00

Happy new year lieblings~
((Okay then, shall be nice and write nice things first))
I hope everyone still remembers me, well I still love all of you...
Hopefully you've left all your troubles behind in 2010,
and started on a fresh page this year.
Just call me if you need someone to listen, ja.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
on a more depressing note,
?, don't worry. I know exactly what your expectations of me are.
in fact, i'm sure ? has a higher expectation for me.
so don't try.
i know what I'm supposed to do.

this is the reason why sometimes people awe when I tell them about ?
but seriously, it's...not what you'd imagine it to be.
they heave on you all sorts of nonsense and expect you to ace it, the first time.
and ?, i AM going to change.
I know what's waiting for me when i get back.
there's no need to remind me over and over again.

now; i don't feel like i'm in the mood for anything.
thanks. alot.
Just started the new year on a vunderful note, didn't I?
gee thanks.

well, i guess i'll have to do my work later...
procrastination is such a temptation, but not an option anymore.
why do i have to go for that again?
now i understand ?'s feelings.
i feel totally unrelated to it...
and seeing as to how all the work is currently clawing at my back, i seriously don't want to go.
i'm sorry, bruder...
but when i think of not going i feel kind of bad.
but still.
...
well then,

happy new year guys.

-Zan
[ thought i ran into you down on the street ]

28.12.10

2010-12-28T22:46:00.000+08:00

i kill you now, yes?

27.12.10; post-post.

2010-12-27T23:06:00.000+08:00

why can't you understand the fact that i can't be that perfect little dream you were hoping me to be? i live my life how i want it. i'm not your puppet, and i won't stand to be your mindless zombie. think again. i have more things in life to look forward to then studies. it's not the only thing i have in my life. it's not the most important thing in my life. if you'd rather watch me rot into a walking corpse...

27.12.10

2010-12-27T22:58:00.001+08:00

Close your Eyes -
For your eyes will only tell the truth
And the truth isn't what you want to see
In the dark it is easy to pretend
That the truth is what it ought to be.

once again, there is this empty feeling~~
but i don't give it much attention...
dear dear dear friend,
you have been consistent in your favours, your actions, your speech, your thoughts, your feelings.
unlike so many of us.
listening is what i love to do,
but the feeling of helplessness which follows...seems unbearable...
what do these tears mean to you?
they will not help the situation...

i hope i can see you tomorrow.
sometimes i just need someone to pull me back down to earth,
and deflate my little bubble dreams...
before i float into the sky~then you won't be able to find me,
and no one will be there to catch me...

but i care not for such.

anyway, today...
my legs almost broke off...i'm totally serious...
thank gott for salonpas...

when all else fails, i seem to run back here...
amusing, isn't it?
seems like this has become...
a second Rozu?
a more literal one, something I know HAS absorbed what I have been saying...

ITS A DIFFERENT FEELING
TO BE FORCED AN IDENTITY UPON YOU
AND FOR YOU TO CHOOSE ANOTHER'S IDENTITY

i assure you.

hopefully tomorrow will go well.

-Zan
[ eins, zwei, drei ]

26.12.10; badromance

2010-12-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

well, i think im just trying to make up for that five months.
or something. havent been bloghopping around for quite awhile...
i think this is the time where miroku-sama becomes F?, and admiral a becomes Fritz Vater...
hurr... .Norway is still going to remain there.
there is no way in hell that my bruder is in ANY WAY similar to West -.-"
like, at all.
Like i've said before, I talk like Prussia at the volume of Canada, and act like France.
Yeah..
my bruder, he...is like America and England put together... weirdly enough..
but my house is furnished in such a way that Austria could be the designer, but kept a Germany way...
weird...
Fritz Vater is like... hmm.... he is like... RUSSIA. and canada. put together. lol.
a silent, imposing figure, ja.
currently downloading the togainu no chu game...
i have no idea HOW i'm going to understand it..but yeah.
in fact, i have no idea if i can even run it on this thing....freaky OS.
and i still need to get a Office for Mac..even though this thing has textedit.
thingy.
i still remember the days where i used to write nice long blogposts...
hahah.
well, here's a treat for whoever has been reading this.
yay.

see. there's no way he's like west. :D
wawaweewa
having a world conference now...lol..
i hope i can go for the cash studio thing on thursday...
i have no idea what i'm going to say though...
i'm going for lunch with my friends?
at somerset??
it sounds very VERY suspicious, nein?
so im probably not attending.
it's nice to know that the group isn't like, how to say...
the age gap isn't very big, so everyone else is experiencing everyone else's problems xD
i'm just wary of ? ...
don't want to have another case of kicking butt -.-"
i am tolerant, but that doesn't mean i accept it.
i don't support it, but it's not really what you'd call hate.
so i guess i'll just go for the patrol outing on monday...
and be the only sec two there.
because i'm so freaking awesome.
okay, prussia, shutup.
because everyone else pangseh-ed me
-foreveralone-
yups.
so, might as well make a statement about it.
going to be a decently dressed Kau... i should walk with my arms behind my back or something...
just to freak the little Frauleins out...
xD i'm so freaking sadistic....
well ? doesn't seem to mind anyway...
part 1 of togainu no chi has been downloaded!
there is no freaking way i'm going to let him use this~
which is why i set the password...
which i'm not going to tell him...
which he probably can't guess...
though i'm thinking of changing it to something you can't google...
can't think of any yet though.
yes, this blog post is really becoming quite long, ja?
okay well... hmm
not that anyone reads this but well...hah.
inilah namernya syok sendiri..
but whatever.
a belated merry christmas to you all,

this was actually on my tumblr, so you guys can have it too
and now i'm pretty much stoning, seeing as to how they have totally abandoned me...
i think they're done with the conference? i can't be sure.
and by the way, i'm done reading IMPERIUM.
ancient roman politics is actually quite interesting :)
i've started to read THE BERLIN CROSS now...
it's awesome, once you start reading it, and have watched/read hetalia..
it seems that Russia's being a handful...as usual.
And well, Berlin has been separated into a few sectors, for the Allies to share..
France's sector is like, the biggest? or is it Russia's? can't recall...
well, so yes.
hello world.
now playing: Leather Pants - Marik Ishtar feat. Bakura Ryou
they make me feel like getting leather pants too!
dammnit.
well, i seriously feel like reading some Germancest after this...
too much TogainuNoChi today xD
ohmeingott my vocabulary is becoming increasingly degrading these days...sigh..
him and me will take your leather pants
hahahaha...
i do hope that i can get that 7YW!Costume...
it seems like the F? does not approve of the Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross that Gilbo is wearing...
hmmm
i could
1) not wear it at all
2) wear it during the event and take it off OTW there/ OTW home.
3) explain to the F? the difference between a christian cross and a greek cross...
different symbols mean different things, monsieur.
now playing: life is a cabaret - lisa minelli
danke, sarah~
this really is a good song...
well, i guess i'll be off now~

-Zan
[ come blow your horn start celebrating... ]

26.12.10

2010-12-26T12:44:00.000+08:00

check this out.
im back.
after...probably around 5 months?
well, yeah.
streaming was okay by the way...i dont regret taking ss/history...considering how much fun i'll have tormenting people whenever some country is being mentioned. i feel very VERY sorry for the sad soul who sits next to me in class next year, anyhow. Hopefully i'll get to cos the SevenYearWar!Prussia next year,
using ofcourse,
my edusave bursary money. or something.
i finally got accepted into a cosplay group~
a new one, but nonetheless. its called team vodka! a hetalia one.
and i've been doing alot of nonsensical cosplay stuff recently..
oh well.
maybe next time, ja?

-Zan
[ do you remember those times? ]

25.07.10

2010-07-25T19:00:00.000+08:00

apparently i dont use this thing anymore.
probably because i dont really have time for anything else but yeah
and its freaking annoying how im working my ass off and other poeple are slacking.
thus causing shit to happen.
and stuff to be flying around.
dangerous stuff.
i wish people would stop being so easily herded.
but anyway.
why cant we learn only what is necessary?
why
why
why
why am i writing this post

borrowed angel time yesterday
it scares me
because i have been in a weird mood since i picked it up

i think its anne rice

either that or my sanity is just going haywire.
i want everything to be over and done with
because ITS taking up everything every inch of my life
i think im going crazy
i think everyone is annoying

i think i need to be isolated

i think i need to write a new story
i think rozu should be real

i think i'm weird
i think i should stop it.
now.

-Zan
[ they have the most emptiest eyes ]

FOREVER LOVE; 11.07.10

2010-07-11T12:00:00.000+08:00

heath

from liquid snake, to ash crimson, to sir andrew and now temporarily heath
by the way, im really looking forward to the sir andrew thing
wearing my ash wig,
(preferably) purple scarf,
white frilly shirt,
black trenchcoat,
black tarian pants and rainbow leggings.
he's supposed to have some sort of garish sense of fashion.
:D
we are so alike
ehh he seems kind of gay though...
the way he's portrayed...
hahaha

oh my maid caught a random
parrot thing.
this morning
but we gave it up to our neighbour.
so yeah.

and and and.
here's a list of fics i've wrote! hehe

1) From My Point of View
2) Midnight Curiosity
3) Untitled (SAGxR)
4) Shishou
5) Untitled (AKxA?)
6) Pancake
7) Does That Make Me Gay?
8) Does That Make Me Gay 2?
9) Noah's Trip to a Fine City
10) Lust
11) Fallen
12) E-51
13) Untitled (AWxTM)
14) Stars

and out of these, i've only finished ONE!
which is From My Point of View
ain't that funny.
okok.
well i wanna start another one!
lol
its called.
HELLFIREEE
hhaha
gerek kan

lol okay i have to go now though.
GOING TO MANDI!

-Zan
[ i was once adored too ]

02.07.10

2010-07-02T11:47:00.000+08:00

life is finally brightening up,
with the wig cut, hoodie and shirt...
all i need is the pants :D
i hope people actually KNOW
who i am.
or something.
haha

and yes, from liquid snake to ash crimson :)

you should see the whole list.
heh.

but anyway, here i am, in DOT lab.
slacking
with the whole class
cause apparently we're all on fb and doing shit

YAY!

heh.

-Zan
[ see you tomorrow, honey ]

09.06.10

2010-06-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

the holidays, obviously, have started.
and my schedule is scary.
horribly scary.
...
the days that i have which are free (nothing is happening on this day)
can probably be counted on one hand.
seriously.
and what have i done so far?
the science paper and half of the supplementary questions,
the maths worksheet...half of it.
thats freaking all.
as if life couldn't get any worse...
well, feeling better now since
got to go out as "me"
well, the me they hate, anyway.
really can't be bothered though.

trying out ash crimson's personality tomorrow,
while doing lit at national library.
keyword: flamboyant.
i think i'll remind myself alot of Marius and Madam Red.
Trying to wear all the red stuff that I can find....
hmm...
and wearing a gigantic tag which says
HELLO, MY NAME IS
ASH CRIMSON

i really wonder how many people play KoF in singapore.
oh well.
its one of the few times that you'll feel nice wearing a nametag.
probably going to stop by and play a little BlazBlue and hopefully if i can find,
KoF.
just for awhile...
well i'm looking forward to it.
though my fashion has never been...
flamboyant.
perhaps obnoxious. but not flamboyant.
i don't feel like warning the rest :)

and before everyone bursts into question marks,
ash crimson is the protagonist of
King of Fighters 2003 - XII
yeah.
seems like an awfully vicious guy.
he has a big ass.
or maybe its just his pants.
i feel like making a list of people with white/platinum blonde/blonde hair
i have ever liked. or whatever.
1) Yue - CardCaptorSakura
2) Yzak Jule - GundamSeed/Destiny
3) Bakura Ryou - Yuugiou
4) Marik Ishtar - Yuugiou
5) Shirogane - MonochromeFactor
6) Fay D. Fluorite - TsubasaChronicle
7) Liquid Snake - MetalGearSolid
8) Ash Crimson - KingOfFighters

seriously...wth?

i'm randomly going to state a recommended tailor many sgcafe people have...mentioned.
Jolly Wearables; Tampines Street 44
(opp DunmanSec, next to printing shop)
i think i should visit that place soon...
after getting some cloth...
his costume (standard version) seemed simple enough
- according to abang farhan.
i trust him on these things. I guess.
Hmm..
why don't you take a look?

but the bubbles are supposed to be black in KoFXII

the shiny stuff are apparently zippers....

his wig is fair enough....i think i should get shino-sama's help...

white shoes,okay right....

yeah.

just the cost of the costume that bothers me.

-Zan

[ ...you said? I will remember that handsome name ]

27.05.10; pokerface, now

2010-05-27T21:17:00.001+08:00

had last day of school today, decorated board in the morning.
sped through the day like nobody's business, felt worried;
mainly cause i realised that i had to lug around this a4 paper box of nonsensical stuff.
like...books.
._.
fortunately, mp picked me up and i assumed we were going somewhere over the rainbow
mood is horrible now - mp checked out my report book.
m nagged about english. seriously.
why doesn't she go ahead and do that freaking paper and tell me how easy it is.
isn't it?
totally spoilt my mood.
feeling horribly DEATHGAZE now.
was into ANCAFE throughout the whole day. now just dreading it.
no mood to read Mentality is Overrated.
sluts should know their place.
and people should really stop OOC-ing characters.
seriously.
ryou. is. not. slutty. jounouchi. is. not. INTELLIGENT.
okay whatever, alright?
it's Johanna now.
feeling alot better now.

I feel you
I feel you
Do they think that walls can hide you?
Even now I'm at your window
I am in the dark beside you
Buried sweetly in your yellow hair

ms lin checked out ESSAY and flipped through it.
"Who's Toshiro?"
Awfully hilarious. she asked why there was so much nonsense in it.
i laughed.
she's nice when she wants to be.
and the tea in my cup probably has dried up.
into the atmosphere.
but whatever

meeting 6A peeps tomolo
and m is still flinging around my things.
still.
forget it.

planning to look like miku-sama.
but then if my mood continues like this,
probably going to have eyeliner dripping from my lips.
but whatever. as long as i can strut my stuff.
its been too long
far too long since i have shown my true colours

but whatever, once again

having mixed feelings about the june holidays.
its frighteningly packed
yet soothingly relaxing.
i have no idea what i'm saying.
-

i wonder....

-
i probably have only four free days.
meaning i really have to multitask like nobody's business.
all in a day's work, right?
i don't even know anymore.
and i'm scared
scared to go back to that time where things were like that
things have changed since then.

GLAMOUROUS SKY

most probably planning to stick my face into
METAL GEAR SOLID 2: SONS OF LIBERTY
for hours.
trying to finish it asap.
that book is awesome.
got it from the school library; nlb were making rounds.

let's just hope that i don't get fined for overdue books again.

-Zan
[ ...they were using AK-74us ]

22.05.10

2010-05-22T19:53:00.000+08:00

hello hierocles!
hahah like whuuuttt
okok.
so anyway.
went to NLB just now,for madrasah
we went to the Rehlah (?) exhibition, the William Farquhar exhibition
and ze S.Rajaratnam exhibition
omgg damn cool lah!
and apparently huda and qistina are in teens alive
wow. i just rolled over and switched off the radio.
lol.
then when we went to the arabic, exhibition...
apparently theres this lepak place called
MAADARAS
or something like that...
then i burst out laughing and ustazah stared at me...xDD
eh apparently we have this new ustaz.
so now we have ustaz nabil, the ustaz who teaches 1A and the new guy.
._.
okay.
then after that mom&dad picked meh up
and we headed to IKEA.
that place is freaking awesome.
check this out.

so now we know that

sexy demon butlers

and

ancient bisexual vampires

work for IKEA.

and make chairs.

awesome or what.

oh and think my passion for yugiouu

is going to be revived soon.

this all started with the whole leather pants thing

thank little kuriboh. he's awesome.

check it out yo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jnCcejkpjg

-Zan

[ and we're really just friends ]

15.05.10

2010-05-15T20:11:00.002+08:00

omg. had a freaking fun day today
which was...er.
kind of guilty
as
did not start revising. lol
that was funny.
scared like shit for maths and worried for history
happy for geog and listening to Serenade.
hmm.... who knows anyway.
this is going to be a short post!

to all the people out there.
becareful of what you say.

a long time ago, my friend asked me this question
"Is your imaginary friend your dream guy?"
and I replied "No,"
now i've fallen head over heels over my imaginary friend's doppelganger.
what happens if your imaginary friend came to life?

still in the midst of writing STARS.
freaking hilarious much.
wanted to write it in ICA building but there were guys sitting next to me..
xD

suppression.

-Zan
[ some things were meant to be ]

08.05.10

2010-05-08T14:31:00.000+08:00

adam lambert <3

holy. freaking. crap.
abandoned much?
oh well.

probably going to start with my nonsense again people!
for those who have been following, checking each week, yes im still alive.
just that school is probably killing whats left of my life out of school.
(yes. i do have one)

yesterday was. well. i don't know. a rojak bowl.
our drills were. better than wednesday i guess, but still could be improved by tons.
not really our fault though. hmmm i think we should organise some kind of
footdrill-tuition thing by ex-sec fours.
and they started with coy 1 first, so i was like...oh god....
first patrol, my fringe came down and covered my face.
second patrol, the sweat was trickling down my face like tears.
and, yeah.
ishwarya wasn't feeling well. that was sad.
but anyway they're all nice and enrolled now.
wow.
carin - company leader. awesome much?
beatrice - patrol leader & skills I/C. luoting's successor. :D
vignesh - secretary. hmm...interesting, ne?
and im ps. yay.
finally a small fry.
oh well
new responsibilities
and now i get to stand next to... vignesh?
seeing as how carin will be in front of the whole coy,
and beatrice will be at the front.
._.

music: ABYSS - DEATHGAZE
my new found love.

their live is very the hardcore.
:D

and now!
oh wait. by the way, today's the day
toshi's having his PS for Gundam 00 Season 1.
i wonder if theres any pics?
hmms. oh, have you seen the Trailblazer gundams?
Let me introduce you :D

8D.

let's start!

QUAN[T]

Setsuna's :D. to nadja, thats not a shield.
its a sword.
WITH BITSSSS!! WEEE.
haha revenge much.

Harute

A/Hallelujah's!!! 8D. co-piloted by Marie. whatever.
because of marie, i guess theres the fat thing attached to its ass.
oh well.
it has cannons! :3 in fighter mode.
to nadja, thats not a shield. its a sword-gun :D

zabanya

Lockon/lyle's....
rifle bits apparently.
and TINY MISSILES.
xD
and it still has that...shield-fence thing.
from...dynames.
oh this was like, recycled.
so yeah.

raphael

yes, its tinted PURPLE.

tieria's own handiwork, apparently. and its finally skinny.

lol

but it has gigantic...movable/detachable canons.

i hope it makes up for the fact that its pilot is a gay hologram-robot thing.

8D watch it people!

september this year.

don't miss it.

can watch online.

-Zan

[ colours of the heart ]

26.03.10

2010-03-26T21:19:00.000+08:00

" What if those wings were stained red? "

maybe i just need to write it out.
because people just can't understand
or don't bother to.

things about me - written on paper.
two phrases which do not at all fit with each other.
what's written on paper is a lie.
but then again, most things are.
life is full of lies.
small ones.
big ones.
lies, lies, lies.
to be human, we-lie.

in this generation, this century, this era, this time
(actually, in every)
showing your true colours is never - what you might call - good.
why?
because no one
cares
anymore.

no one cares if you listen to gothic rock.
no one cares if you crossdress as a hobby.
no one cares if you draw depressing illustrations
no one cares if you like to write prose.
the thing is; no one cares.

but what do they care about now?
they care about that test you failed, that quiz you aced.
the letter you wrote to the Ministry,
and
the GCE 'A' you will get in four years' time.
the papers, certificates. things which will get you a job.
things that will make you earn money.

you don't get a job by being - "unique"
you don't get a job by being - "original"
you don't get a job by "having a life"

no, ofcourse not.

but what if surviving in the world means
lying to yourself?
telling yourself you love it when you detest it?
speaking your mind, instead of whats in your HEART?

would you still...?

"Why did you get such marks for Geography?"
I misinterpreted the amount of marks.
I fell in love and made myself happy for a few months

"Do you want a tutor?"
Yes.
Yes, maybe someone like...?"

"Do you have any problems with your subjects, teachers or class?"
No. No. No.
What if the problem is you?

"Do you want to see the school counsellor?"
No, its okay.
Would she be able to make me, or at least deceive me into thinking I am; "happy" ?

"She's a very sensitive girl, very quiet,"
Saying that isn't going to make the tears stop. Quiet is only reserved for those moments where my personality has been straight-jacket-ed.

in order to deceive myself,
i shall think of a new plot.
to entertain myself.
{ what would you do...if you fell in love with three months to live? }
i would like to know?

" Would you have the guts to say; I Don't Love You, Like I Did, Yesterday? "

-Zan
[ you're like an indian summer in the middle of winter ]

15.03.09

2010-03-15T19:07:00.001+08:00

things couldn't get more hilarious.

especially since yesterday....
everything seemed to be revolving around
BL. YAOI.

first thing in the morning,
read
HOW THEY MET
:D
and loved most:
STARBUCKS BOY
HEEHEEEHEEE
lol.
i will never have the same thoughts when i see some bishie behind the counter at starbucks.
lol.

then i went on to read
BERITA MINGGU
and they were talking about these
so called malay "pretty boys"
i read, laughed, and rolled on the floor laughing.
MALAY PRETTY BOYS STAND NO CHANCE AGAINST JAP BISHIES .
im serious.
lol.
or korean ones, for that matter.
malay pretty boys just look plain GAY.
and uke-ish.
erm.
whatever.

THEN!
i went on to check my email...
where i got a random one from
TOKYOPOP (once again, they bring the best of joy)
and there was this manga called
BLOOD HONEY
which looked freaking suspiscious.
why?
because there were two guys on the cover page!
dude...serious.
TAKUT TAHU
i was like lol-ing
so i went to read the preview
it was freaking hilarious lah
kind of clamp-ish.
but yeah.
theres this cram teacher called
Mayuzumi...something
whom people call Mayumayu-sensei
and like
the nurse-vamp called
Akabane....something
lmao.
second time.
so i read, laughed, rolled on the floor.
etc.
LOL.

and then!!!
i went on to read this random thing
which apparently people like to read too
AIJIN INCUBUS
LOL.
its freaking hilarious.
read it on
http://www.manga.animea.net/
wee!
hahaha.

BLADES OF GLORY

-Zan
[ i feel so lonely waiting for you ]

10.03.10

2010-03-10T21:12:00.000+08:00

i have no freaking idea why i'm even posting.
but i guess i'll be spamming pictures soon
or something.

people, stop it. im dead tired.
just let me kill the freaking little things.

-Zan
[ hello i miss you ]

06.03.10

2010-03-06T22:02:00.000+08:00

cool per.

THE KNACE OF HEARTS - STAYNE

hahaha...from ALICE IN WONDERLAND

xDD

watched it today

just now

like... at 1610.

with sihui, angie and sheng min.

got irritated cause sihui came 1/2hour late-

hated watching 3d 2 rows from the screen-

thought stayne was randomly cool-

thought the mad hatter looked like sweeney tod because they were played by the same guy-

ate popcorn, macs and icecream.

WOW.

the television is next to me btw.

and guess what they were reporting about.

some business IT ppl from temasek poly.

awesome.

luckily, i didn't have a =.=" face.

'cause most likely toshi would be like...

at home, lepaking.... sleeping at the mention of his school. lol.

anyway

took 53 home-

reached home at 9pm-

and now i need to chiong maths homework.

gosh.

this sucks.

and i have no idea HOW my parents are going to help me with

the SEL worksheet.

=.="

and i have a feeling i have to book a cab for monday

and not go with sihui.

seriously

i have a feeling she wont be able to reach at the roadside

by 0610

im damn scared that she would reach at like 0620

and we would all be late because of her.

by the way, knave-dude.

i totally feel your pain man.

i'd rather die than stay with that retarded red queen.

O.O

gosh.

his sanity = gone.

sadness lah.

i mean like i thought they would bring

him to ~~white court~~ the court place thingy and like make him into a slave or something.

lol.

like totally yaoi-ish.

haha

want another plot?

there's like these two rival courts

white and red

then both have like...knaves or something.

and white court's is like my cliche kentalan guy.

aka pale, skinnyyy, blonde hair, icy blue eyes.

LMAO.

all my stories are like that, i swear.

from leo, to astray...lol....

then like red court is...

PAUSE.

NOPLEASEDONTSAYTHAT.

now i just feel like writing the lame story out.

PLAY.

and the red court guy is stayne

so yeah and they actually supposed to hate each other

so cliche right

then they FIL blah blah blah

you know the drill.

and DIE!

btw, excited for lj.

packing tomorrow only.

lol.

-Zan

[ and who might that be? ]

05.03.10

2010-03-05T21:36:00.000+08:00

Gosh, its March already.
Like wtf.
time is passing freaking quickly and we all don't have much time.
for anything.
seriously.

feeling dead now...
had a very boomz guides session just now..
with footdrills and pt one after another.
and farewell planning to top it off.

meanings i need to send the proposal
and
complete the script asap.
and urge the commitees to hurry up.
cause the farewell has been brought forward to
21st april.
sucidal much.

and i have to do some last minute work later...
SEL worksheet, edusave form, history, artwork 2, maths worksheet.
most likely i won't be doing history and artwork 2 tonight.
gosh...wants to play dragonica and kill stupid things.
like. artis. or nightlord. or that stupid mellow thingy. ew. seriously.

and my posts are getting shorter and shorter by the day.
goodness.
its going to be a splat of words next time or something
fortunately
we have lj
so no campsite cleaning
still remember last year...
cleaning with pei xuan and luoting.
O.O
and the cicak fell on luoting.
and all the batshit and cicak shit and all.
have fun sec ones.
its a very useful skill.
toilet cleaning.
seriously.
oh dear...all the dry dead leaves...
and the hardcore store
with the same doorknob as my room door.
which proves how old my house is.
ahahah.

im being lame again.
currently:

1) feeling Ma Cherie-ish
2) dead
3) beating up abang Farhan for no apparent reason
4) finding a team
5) getting red contacts
6) wearing the new flats

-Zan
[ is that how a man holds another? with such passion? ]

28.02.10

2010-02-28T17:37:00.000+08:00

posted stuff on tumblr...lol
i shall link it to this blog and you all can check it out if you want to

went to amirah's house
(in visual kei)
to do artwork (1)
which i lengthened to a great deal.

was supposed to go and do lit filming.
main actress can't make it.

idiotic art group members
i have no idea what to do now.
where's the GIVE UP button again?

you're the only one.

-Zan
[ a million skylarks ]

25.02.09

2010-02-25T21:38:00.000+08:00

this blog is officially dead until i chose to revive it..
which would probably be after CT,
cause my life is becoming a mundane existance and daily routine.
and its pissing me off.

science CT tomorrow.
covalent, ionic bonding.
valencies, 3,5.
electronic configuration 2,8,1

is this all there is to it?
frankly speaking, maths isn't one of my concerns right now
because apparently you can be top 10 in class with a C5 for maths.
no, seriously.

and cause they just can't undestand that we
HAVE LIVES.
lives to live, dreams to realise.
time to unwind.

twentyfourhours never seemed enough.
and this makes you think about school for the whole twentyfourhours.
its not helping.

i don't want to go.
everything is coming to and
END.

deadlines, deadlines,
DEAD
lines.
why?

when will i ever be free to...?

and the future is paved with pain and solitary confinement.
what's left?
what happens next?
where is the END?

-Zan
[ it hurts just to see your name ]

brother-brother relationships; 14.02.10

2010-02-14T21:47:00.000+08:00

revel in the awesomeness of sociopaths.

went filming for lit today!

it was hilariously fun and full of randomness.

like seriously.

but we managed to get the home scenes shot

which was really good.

lidiya is an awesome camera woman

and this blog is dying.

and acelearning should be hacked and virus-ed and destroyed.

but anyway,

on a lighter note,

lidiya and umairah and maybe sarah

are coming to my house tomorrow to

study/watch movie and

we shall go cycling somewhere over the rainbow

which sounds awfully exciting

who knows what nonsensical things may happen.

i particularly enjoyed today...

wore an ALESANA hoodie at 3pm in the afternoon

and sweat buckets.

awesome or what.

ate apple...hehe..

which was basically very shinigami-like.

but whatever.

ha-ha.

like my new blogskin?

i like it too.

very....?

and i am very amused at the random piccturs of

vampires in this tiny-laptop.

and the pictures of KAIN.

ahem.

KAIN.

lmao.

and my itchy fingers have the sudden urge

to delete FALLEN

and write a new fanfiction...

story...prose whatever.

which....needs to be as realistic as possible.

3rd person POV thanks!

title of prose?

still thinking of it..

BLACKCAT?

DUET?

hmmm....

anyway theres going to be two main characters.

Louis (the french-whatever dude)

who's sort of Louis-Marius-ish in appearance..

works as waiter (at his brothers' cafe)/violin-ist (in a symphony)

cafe BLACKCAT.

which is a cafe by day and club by night! 8D

club-brothel-whatever thingy.

and

Christopher! Chris...(the british dude 8D)

who's in a symphony in paris

plays 1st violin! 8D

and one day he stumbles opon cafe BLACK CAT

during its "switching" time

and meets Louis.

who is trying his best not to ruin his brothers' club reputation

so he "guides" Chris into the club

and well...he looks kind of wrong...

a few days later, after some nonsense has occurred between them...

louis is asked to join the symphony

and realises that its the one CHRIS IS IN.

and louis has to play 2nd violin.

which is such a rip off.

but whatever.

then he's like so MALU....i mean like....selling himself to chris the other day....

but chris is very nice :)

so they are like...friends.

and louis gets kacau-ed by his brothers. :D

-Zan

[ my beloved ]

07.02.10

2010-02-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

this blog is getting more dead by the day.

lol.
btw, my hunter is level 31 now.ha-ha.
hey! if you want to relink, please
LEAVE THE LINK on the tagboard.
cause if not i'll have no friggin idea.

talking to farah and toshi now!
omg...toshi's wig looks so awesome.
he says its as soft as his hair...O.O
so cool rite..
well maybe i'm going to like, pass him my ffs soon.
just give some teasers from this blog...
hahaha...
apparently he doesn't have anything against reading my yaoi lemons..

O.O

haha.
should warn him before hand.

-Zan
[ on cloud nine ]

31.01.10

2010-01-31T18:29:00.001+08:00

i want to forget

i really do

but i can't help but suck up to you

its amusing how i'm feeling horrible now

and yet i can speak so sweetly with you

its amusing how the sight of you makes me elated

and makes me break into tears.

went to parkway parade today

went to borders

felt sad after seeing only volume one there.

damn them.

i want my volume 3.

but anyway i got 2 new books

one of which my dad gave me some weird face..

and once again demanded to know why i liked to read books about

vampires.

oh come on.

its anne rice.

The Vampire Armand - Anne Rice

Kiss of Life - Daniel Waters

total cost: $34 something.

somehow i never believed in

how love was so similar to hate

...

reading vampire armand now..

spent hours on it...reading...

sleeping in the car.

shall send rozu to sarah's house to scare away the monsters.

anne rice has a wonderful way of describing xxx politely.

especial gay xxx.

amazing.

-Zan

[ stay away, do you want to go with me? ]

24.01.09

2010-01-24T13:01:00.000+08:00

You are alive. Let me hear your pulse and the flowing of your blood.

hey peoples...again

i so lazy to update my blog lol

haha got so much stuffffff diao...

okay insert random image here

ITS TOSHIRO.

NOT JOSHUA.

=.="

anyway

listening to

ETERNAL SILENCE

Phantasmagoria 8D

check it out yo.

doing all the project shit today
cause i'm going to a giant flea market after this

at expo, hall 6B

yesterday toshi was free...

but i had this feeling he was busy with schoolwork

haha

cause he was like on from 11am till like 4?

lol.

hardcore

and i really cant be bothered to draw this shit

diao.

and here's the WHOSWHO for lit!

Farah - Main Character / Editor

Farizan - Imaginary Friend / Makeup/Costume

Lidya - Friend / Camerawoman

Sharifah - Mother / Camerawoman

Alamelu - Father

damn toot lah..

HI NOORAMA!

lol.

please tag.

and my house smells of bacon for some reason.

diao.

too many projects

and being secretary. lol.

-Zan

[ I wish... heaven, I want to meet you

It's too cold, too quiet

I wish... heaven, I want to meet you

Time's door won't open, neither will your eyes ]

17.01.09

2010-01-17T08:57:00.001+08:00

I WANT BARRY TO BE DUDE!

(Barry is the white hair-ed dude)

diao....Barry Beauford!! OMG AWESOMMEE

haha...

sorry, C&T overload.

yesterday was such a rip offf!!

????

why ah... aiyoh..

so spoiler lah..

"eh, eh....is that toshi?"

*sees random cosplayers*

O.O

turns into

>.<"

*sees cousin*

>:(

*gives sunflower to toshi*

*feels stupid*

*wants to cry*

*runs to nlb*

*reads WHITE KNIGHT*

*feels better*

diao.

anyway, i was so shocked!

i actually accomplished what i wanted to...lol.

and the reference library is awesome.

seriously....

O.O

*in awe*

listening to: Boom Boom Pow

oh and i apologise for the afk-ing of posts

lol.

my birthday was weird...

why?

because 2O people sang happy birthday..XDD

and julie and my bro were the ones who got me a cake

and i blew out a candle!

OMGG ahhaa

first time lol.

"heyys...wanna go out?"

i almost died.

XD.

and then there was guides on friday..

and apparently luoting knows that i'm good at art..

ehto....??

XD....next time i draw rayflo then they know XD

behold the awesomeness of elagabalus...

VARIUS AVITUS BASSIANUS

YOOO....

haha

thats his birth name...

8D.

nyoo...i shall be HIEROCLES!!!!!

omg random.

and i have to attend a makcik forum today...

i doubt abang farhan is coming..

or is he?

idk lah..

maybe he going the gundam 00 photoshoot?

i guess so.

i feel so shit lah can.

i have to rot away listening to makcik's talk and eat

when i could be skw-ing for toshi!

urgghhhh

not to mention, toshi looked super awesome yesterday..

BABI LAH.

actually dier nak practice dier punyer flute kat esplanade park sendiri

pasal dier ingat i nak tunggu dengan dierrr

aiyoooo

can you imagine if that happened.

sial ah i spam sarah, angie and sihui's inboxs.

lol.

i'll try to draw dude(ahem. Barry Beauford) and Alice soon!

8D.

so excited lol.

and for lit too!

we're filming omg AWESOME!

again we will jakon with video cams..

i'm sure sharifah has some great memories.

oh and i met jiaks yesterday

and bought a 3.90 kuroshitsuji calendar.

and i got 350 from the government yesterday.

damn blogger...

can't upload pics...sorry!

-Zan

[ cause when you're fifteen, and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them ]

13.01.09

2010-01-13T17:58:00.000+08:00

thank you for lighting up my life

HEYS!

tomorrow is my bday...heheheh.....

ohmiigooshh

>///<

can't wait...

i wonder what surprises will pop up...

especially after what abang farhan said...

goshh....

>/////////<

i think i'll hyperventilate....like hardcore-ly.

XDD

yah lah... aper lah you ni..

can't wait...gosh...

oh!

eating at MAD JACK tonight!

8D with family and JULIEEE~~!!

hehhehe...

oh...getting a watch for birthday from parents!

what will...happen?

who knows...:D

-Zan

[ one day we'll run from this town and live forever ]

05.01.09

2010-01-05T18:56:00.000+08:00

dear mister pied piper,
please don't kill me
use your magic flute and take me away
from this reality
i will bend to your every will
anything for you mister pied piper
please use your magic flute and take me away

you're just so irrisistable

today was another slack day..
i shall begin to tell you!
my teachers...

English: Mr Lee Lincher
wacky guy. indecent. great teacher. :D
Maths: Mr Tay
T&F teacher! he's a bullet train...so rush rush...but nice.
General Science: Mr Leng.
boring as hell. but i guess he's a nice guy?
Literature: Mrs Jay
betch. hate her.
History: Ms Lin
failed attempt at enthu-ness. but can tahan
Geography: Mrs Tan

damn bro is home!
goshh

-Zan
[ you just made my day ]

03.01.09

2010-01-03T11:44:00.000+08:00

HAVE.TO.PACK.TODAY....O.O
here's a random quiz off tachi's blog!!! =D

Now, here's what you're supposed to do, and please do not spoil the fun. Copy and paste , delete my answers, type in your answers and tag 5 of your friends . Then see what happens.

if you a guy- post this as my kind of girl.. if your a girl- post it as my kind of boy..

1. Do you need him/her to be good looking?
He needs to be good looking in my eyes only...hehehe.

2. Smart?
Hmm...from slightly below average to genius. Haha.

3. Preferred age?
Few seconds to maybe 5 years?

4. Preferred height?
Must be taller than me...even if its like...1cm...lol.

5. How about sense of humor?
Preferably. If not, it's okay. I can be the joker.

6. How about piercings?
Not too many...haha.

7. Accepts you for who you are?
A MUST.

8. Pink hair?
Oh cool! Doesn't need to be pink haha.
9. Mushy or no?
Slightly?

10. Thin or fat?
Average.

11. Black, Brown or White (skin color)?
As I said before...he just needs to look good in my eyes.

12. Long hair or short hair?
LONG! Or average... Alah anything lah.

13. Plastic or metal?
Metal?

14. Smells good?
Ofcourse...

15. Smoker?
Preferably not.
16. Drinker?
Preferaby not.

17. Girl/Boy-next-door type?
Hmm...ok lah.
18. Muscular?
Can lah...but not until so macho.

19. Plays piano?
That would be nice...haha. Since i can't.

20. Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?
Uwaa....good if he can.

21. Plays violin?
SO ROMANTIC! *starry eyes* can,can!

22. Sings very good?
Haha if not good its okay...we can cause thunderstorms together...haha

23. Vain?
Haha...don't need to be so.

24. With glasses?
Don't mind

25. With braces?
Hmm...?

26. Shy type?
Can....

27. Rebel or good boy/girl?
Not too rebel, not to guai.

28. Active or passive?
Abit of both.

29. Tight or bomb?
LMAO. IDK.

30. Singer or dancer?
Hahaha doesn't need to be any of these.
31. stunner?
O.O??

32. Hiphop?
Sure...haha.

33. Earrings?
No dangly ones okay...haha

34. Mr/Ms. count-my-ex-girlfriends-until-you-drop?
O.O well....

35. Dimples?
Don't mind.

36. Bookworm?
I'm one too so...ahah.

37. Mr/Ms. love letter?
8DD

38. Playful?
Yesh...hehe.

39. Flirt?
Hmm...with me only! BLEHH
40. Poem writer?
8DD
41. Serious?
At the right time.

43. Painter?
8DDDD
44. Religious?
Not too...

45. Someone who likes to tease people?
Can lah...not too hardcore.

46. Computer games geek?
NO!

47. Speaks 20 languages?
Hahaha! Nice.

48. Loyal or faithful?
Both...lol.

49. good kisser?
Hehe...can lah.

50. loves children?
Must be able to tahan...lol.

I tag;
1) Lidiya
2) Sarah
3) Umairah
4) YOU!
5) Sharifah

-Zan
[ NO THIS IS NOT AN ADVERT. LOL. ]

02.01.10

2010-01-02T13:24:00.000+08:00

london bridge is falling down, my fair lady

heyhey peeps!

omg...just getting used to writing 2010...XDD

ohoh!

i went to get prezzies for angel and mortal yesterday.

WRAPPED already...

my house scotch tape sucks man.

i ended up using double sided tape...=.="

now i'm trying to think about what to paste on my file..XD

just start of the year and it shall be VANDALISED!!

awesome...

hahaha

ehhh O.O why toshi online...lol

i thought he's nocturnal...XDD

guess not.

to cakap or not to cakap...

itulah soalanya.

OMG THAT WAS so awesome. XDD

ahem.

anyway.

what should i put?

omg must put toshi's face..LOL.

i put visual kei bands lah

and abit lady gaga...lol.

hmmm

what else..

AHA!

must put bigbig words...like...

err...

VISUAL KEI

ODDBALL

WEIRDO

COSPLAYER
WARNING: CONTAINS EXPLICIT CONTENT.

lol.

MY FILE IS PURPLE IN COLOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeahhhh mann..

lol.

hardcore XD.

i should probably go and find pics now...XD

oh yeah!

suddenly i had this ff idea

but yall can take it lah..

its like this fallen angel comes at disturbs this guy..

cause the guy advert wan hitman

so the fallen angel...(who was disguised as a black cat)

kena recruit as hitman for theguy

abit like kuroshitsuji

but more violence...

like GTA x Kuroshitsuji

yeah something like that.

lol.

-Zan

[ but you chose death and company ]

01.12.09

2010-01-01T22:04:00.000+08:00

ehh i have my nobody dance video!
but my phone is charging...lol.
sadly.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

i couldn't be bothered to post this in the morning.
lol.
may we all have a better year this year
and improve ourselves...
be better people...
etc.
put the past behind you and look forward.

and like...OMG
i'll be 14 in two weeks. O.O
wow.
and dad gave me 50 bucks...which was really wow.
and mom was like....you've used up all your money...
its like saying i gave her 210 bucks and told her she used it up
when she bought stuff two months ago.
things like that.
*rolls eyes*
and i extreme sideparted my hair just now.
met nat and naz at void deck!
hahaha....
mom was lecturing while i admired hizaki's awesome guitar solos.
:D the awesomess of versailles.
8D *in awe*
anyway.
haha.
finally got a proper pair of JEANS!!
though...i believe they are mens jeans...=.="
look on the bright side....they cost $19.90~!
=.="
yeah.
ahem.
i actually was planning to get from levi's or something.
end up get from BHG.
kental giler per.
anyway....>.>"
i really wonder what my parents will get me for my birthday...
oh wait...can i do an updated wishlist here...lol.
to the people who read this blog (i accidentally spelt BLOOD!) who know me...
on 14th Jan, you can get me...
- Vassalord Volume 3
- Versailles Album (Noble/Lyrical Sympathy)
- Rivonze's gundam 1/144 scale or bigger.
- Deidara wig (lol)
- An uber big shirt which has lots of hot pink and black
yesh! hahaha... lol.
unnecessarily large font.
if my parents happen to visit this blog...
they'll get my perfect present! XDD
or...they might beat the shit out of me... ahem.
*hint*hint*HashiMada fic*hint*hint*toshi*hint*hint
XDDD
awesome.
ohh yeah!
ate sushi just now too...
madara's most hated sushi...lol.
omg want to watch cirque du freak tmr with cousins!
=D

-Zan
[ oh boy you've left me speechless ]

31.12.09

2009-12-31T22:01:00.001+08:00

like dudes, OMG.
its the last day of the year!
WOOOAAHHH....sugoi desu ne....
listening to THE REVENANT CHOIR - VERSAILLES

with nadia-senpai and sofia kage bunshin!

lol.

late pics XD

just got them from nat...ahahah

woot!

hahahha...random shit.

okay so anyway.... (ahahaha...XDD)

annual camp recap time!

whoaaa....

XD. hope i can remember.

day1: 29 dec '09

had TENT PITCHING

we actually had a very nice spot of grass to pitch the tent in...

then suddenly they told us that we had to move

because there was a meeting going on

in that block..

in the end we had to use the "courtyard" place.

where the grass and soil had been bought.

and it rained JUST the day before. or in the morning.

>.>

the ground was DAMN muddy.

but ofcourse, since when did anyone care

if the ground was muddy?

(they ignored what they taught us much)

ended up having belacan shoes

and dirty trackpants...

and scrubbing tents with wet rags

...

all in a day's work.

then was volunteered by sonita to go and follow melinda.

in the end, realised that i had to build a fire altar with min fay

not the best two people in the patrol to do that...

XD.

but anyway it was stable and stuff....

miraculously.

and i actually tied the diagonal lash correctly!

>.>"

but simin took it out....

aww...

yeah.

in the end they didn't use our fire altar

they just put it on the drain...

O.o

which was pretty smart lah actually...

we lunched.

and our dinner was...

- chicken wrapped in cabbage,

- banana with chocolate

- baked potato

ahaha. sounds very nice..

but they gave us SO much food...

well yeeahh.

day2: 30 dec '09

woke up bright and early for

ORDERLY DUTIES!

i really sympathise carene. being qm is HELL.

hell i say.

well anyway.

we went to ECP!

which was quite...fun

cause it was a time where we walked on the beach picking up litter and slacking.

and we saw part Cs...O.O

wtf much?

we walked from carpark D all the way to the macs.

then we stopped there for elevenses

of....LONDON CHOCO ROLL and PEAR!!!

omg pear owns.

anyway

after that, we continued on

then we set up base camp...lol.

and started cooking!

the solid fuel and mastin(?) method.

YAY!

haaha.

for the first time i didn't cook maggi using this method.

we cooked macaroni soup!

and i ate simin's extremely salty peppery soup.

no seriously, its just boiled water with salt and pepper.

we then walked to PP!

and had the amazing race thing.

lol.

slip of the tongue yous.

hehehe.

anyway

we had dinnner there too!

were given 1h30min or something

cause we were so bloody early.

ohh and by the way...

(O.O something happened....ehh what ah...)

oh rite!
we played the manito game

and rabiatul was my mortal...

(PS. Claudia was my angel! :D)

then we all wrote our stuffs in KFC.

lmao.

oh and i practically (almost) burst out laughing

when mdm faridah

said...

"you all better call your parents okay? not your boyfriend or girlfriend,"

for some reason that had an impact on me..

LOL!

day3: 31 dec '09

funny slack day.

had homecoming.

met sec1s... some of them.

they are so unenthu!

ehh the previous post:

planned on writing one para

sekali become one bloody oneshot.

700+ words...WTF?

hashimada.

no lemon.

err...or lime.

um... shounen-ai...ajer..

haha

must look properly lol.

can i put toshi's face here.

lol.

HIS HAIR SO LONG!

shall try to talk to him today. diao.

(they were playing TEKKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg.)

omg i wan his rambut...

can i go sch like that...lol.

-Zan

[ thats all there is to it ]

27.12.09; Itchy fingers and lost colours?

2009-12-27T19:13:00.000+08:00

The sky was crying. Again. And Madara loved it. The way the cool teardrops would soak his hair, his clothes. How the coolness made him shiver in delight. He was happy. When it was raining, he wouldn't have to worry about not being able to see colours. Madara took pleasure in listening to the little pitter-patter of the raindrops falling. Everything was quiet when it rained. The rain would drown out the sounds of everything else. No screaming, no horns, no television, no radio. Just the beautiful music the rain makes on its own. And he loved it when it rained because everyone was inside. No one could see him when it rained. But he still couldn't see anyone when it rained, either. He was content in knowing they were equally as blind as him when it rained.

He was lying on the grass Izuna had mowed only a few hours ago. The sweet scent of moist grass, the familiar smell of rain, and something else. Something which smelled so good, so familiar. The pyjamas he was wearing clung to him like a second skin, showcasing rather than concealing his lean figure, porcelain skin. Suddenly, an odd thing happened. Madara could still hear the rain, he could still smell it, he could even feel it, between his bare toes. But somehow the rain had stopped raining on his face, his torso. It was then when the familiar scent was the strongest. The intoxicating scent of his lover's perfume. The coal-haired man frowned. He could feel the older man smile. A warm hand stroked his wet cheek.

"You're going to catch a cold if you stay out here any longer," Hashirama said.

"But I love the rain!" Madara whined childishly. A second later, he felt strong arms lift him from the ground and carry him back into the house. He let out a growl and kicked in a futile way as the warmth of his home swept over him. Soft footsteps were heard on the paraquet floor. His baby brother, Izuna.

"A-ah. Hashirama-san. You didn't tell me you were dropping by," Izuna's eyes fell onto his older brother, who was in the arms of the new visitor.

"Just a little surprise visit. Well, don't mind me, I'll be...tending to your older brother. From the smells, I believe the kitchen is waiting for you, Izuna-kun,"

"Oh...alright then. Do join us for dinner," Izuna said with a small bow. The teen scurried back to the kitchen, fragrant smells now filling the house. Hashirama stared at Izuna, quickly being reminded of his own younger brother who happened to have quite a affinity to the younger Uchiha. Shaking the thoughts away, Hashirama dashed up the stairs two by two, leaving tiny drops of water after a few steps. The sopping wet man in his arms shivered. Madara felt cold. Awfully cold. The warmth from Hashirama's body wasn't enough to ease the sharp pains in his bones, from being out in the rain for too long.

Hashirama had pushed him into the bathroom and told him to get a good hot bath. He staggered into the bathroom, the cool bathroom tiles stinging his legs. Mentally he counted, one, two, three, four. The bathtub. Carefully, Madara climbed in and filled the tub with hot water. He rested his head against the tiled wall.

"Senju!" He called out. Hashirama appeared in the doorway a few moments later. He could feel the older man staring at him. He motioned the Senju to sit on the edge of the bathtub. Said man did so. Madara didn't care that his hands were wet. He gouged were Hashirama was sitting, and pulled the man's face closer to him. He felt Hashirama's hazel-coloured locks, smooth and silky. He felt the man's face, mouth curled in a smile. He was wearing a t-shirt with...jeans, Madara thought. His heart sped as his hands brushed past Hashirama's hips. He dipped his hands back into the warm water.

Madara sighed. It was true, it was inevitable. He was madly in love with Hashirama Senju. But did Hashirama know that?

"Hashirama," he whispered. The next moment, they were locked in a lustful kiss. Hashirama drenched in warm water, sitting in the tub. Madara's spidery fingers latched onto his partner's silky mane.

27.12.09

2009-12-27T15:46:00.004+08:00

things aren't ever how they're supposed to be.

the only sebastian in the whole event.

i should just...drop this shit.

okay. i can't write it here.

sorry.

i'm going to tell you the story of yesterday.

was very enthu and sms-ed nat at 6am in the morning.

and alina too.

told nat to go solat subuh.

blah blah fast forward a few hours

got extremely annoyed when mom decided that wearing black nail polish was inappropriate

and her painting skills are atrocious.

for the first time, my nail polish dried fully before being bombarded.

went out of house ONTIME.

ruz facepalmed when she saw me....

and some random mats were laughing at me as they alighted at downtown east.

dude, frankly i don't care about what you think about me.

freaked out everyone at 0850 at pasir ris mrt.

stood around for awhile before being

assaulted

by nat. and soon alina. and xk...

everyone, except me, apparently hadn't had breakfast yet.

so we went to macs.

scared the shit out of more people.

lepak-ed one corner and drank nat's ice milo.

finally after ten minutes,

set off on the mrt.

sat in last car

freaked out more people.

at least xk was wearing something normal-ish.

whutever.

sarah went on with us at kembangan

look, i don't even feel like doing this anymore.

damnit.

okay.

can i just sneak a small comment here?

why did i even...ASK?! thanks alot though. thanks.

finally when we alighted at bugis

it was 0945

walked to national library

then looked for abang farhan.

when he was in front of us all this time

he was so surprised to see me

like he couldn't believe i actually came

in costume

you know

and met ruru again

she's so nice

she told me i could actually pull it off

so touching...haha.

camped out for awhile

before

#1: we got shooed away by library people

so we went inside

and walked around

looked at the booths...

there are very talented people there.

then set up base camp again.

lepak-ed for awhile

walked around again

found two sempais!

hung out with nadia aka kage bunshin tobi

because at that time there were like 4 tobis

which was freaking hilarious

so we all decided to get a picture together.

nat has em

i'll show you sometime

short sempai, lol.

then after lunch it started getting really claustrophobic

and i was hungry

so we went out to sit outside for awhile

before going to macs to have lunch

it was so freaking crowded when we returned....

lepak-ed some more

did you know...

there were sooo many tobis

haha..

like, 5

or 6?

there was me, kage bunshin aka sofia, the hat ver., the one wearing glasses inside his mask, the one with aluminium foil mask, the one from afa, one malay one hooded ver.,

wow. that makes seven.

the pro-est was the hooded one!

O.O

haha.

5 tobis were guys, only me and sofia were girls...lol.

at some point in time...okay wait i have some pics from sgcafe.

thats my cuz!

you just got TOBI-FIED!

for sarah! lol.

i like his glasses. O.O

anyway.

at some point in time we were camping with xk's group

and i was so tired, i told celine i could just fall and sleep.

which i did...

and nat sat on me...

fortunately i could breathe...

lol.

oh...yeah.....i did nobody for sempai and kage bunshin.

hahaha.

sempai was so overwhelmed by all the tobis...XDD.

oh...and here's how many times we got shooed.

#1: For camping at the side of the aisle

#2: For camping at the side of the bridge

#3: For camping near the stairs

>.>"

stuff happened, we got bored, went down to library, freaked out more people.

last but not least, went...home.

this was one of the most memorable days of my life.

i'm sorry...so sorry.

remembering those lyrics time:

There was a time when love was blind

And the world was a song

And the song was exciting

There was a time

Then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high

And life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid

And dreams were made and used and wasted

There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung, no wine untasted

As they tear your hope apart

And they turn your dream to shame

He slept a summer by my side

He filled my days with endless wonder

He took my childhood in his stride

But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me

That we will live the years together

But there are dreams that cannot be

And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Futari no yakusoku wa kanawanai mama ni
"Ima mo oboeteiru..."

Toozakaru omoide wa itsumademo mabushi sugite

Motto soba ni itakatta

Mou nido to aenai kedo itsumo soba de sasaete kureta

Anata dake wa kawaranai de ite

Yorisotte dakiatta nukumori wa wasurenaide ne

Chigau dareka o aishitemo

Saigo ni kiita anata no koe o kono mama zutto hanasanai mama
Fukaku nemuri ni ochitai

-Zan

[ maybe one day i'll remember
ima wa, aishite iru ]

thisiswhathetoldme

#1: Don't STALK people. It's irritating.

#2: PERSONAL SPACE. I'm telling you this because Tosh voiced displeasure at how close you stood to him when you asked for a hug

#3: Venture out on you[r] own. Try not to stick to just the people that you met up with in the morning. See Firefox, BeniBara, Myself, Ciel. We were all single characters without others from our specific stories. Sure, we stuck together for a bit, but then we split up for the majority of the day

#4: Online search ASAP. Find a Naruto Team that needs a Tobi and join them. Teams always stick together for the majority of events and get more photogs. Sometimes they even have a few specifically for the event itself.

24.12.09

2009-12-24T18:55:00.000+08:00

happy birthday madara-sama!
hope you enjoy your day (and night).
(actually wanted to put M-rated photo but decided against it)

i don't want this dream to end
IDONTWANTTOBEFRIENDS
cause i want your bad romance
before its too late
take me away from this nightmare

today had yet another UNICYCLE THE ONE AND ONLY
meeting.
arrived at potong pasir mrt at 0840
simin arrived at potong pasir at 1015
and left at 1045 for something.
min fay had something on, the rest were overseas.
full patrol attendance: 3 sec ones
me, ren yi and wei ting.
we had lots of random moments in pp macs
where i tried on the newspaper thing..
and some aunty was staring like WTF? at me.
yeaps.
and abracadabra got pasted on my back.
after that, went to paninthebox at chinatown point to get eoy presale tix
for sarah and ruz.
i don't think alina's coming....
and i hope i don't meet xk..seriously....haiz.
anyway i bet i will meet her. luckily she won't see my face.
and i finally convinced my dad to let me take public transport.
be eco-friendly people.
shock your fellow singaporeans by wearing a cosplay costume.
its called ownage.

i don't want this to be a fantasy
i want to make sure i'm not dreaming
its so much more intricate
so much more beautiful
it has so much more meaning
but maybe i'm just chasing empty dreams
tell me i'm wrong
and that you'll save my from this hellhole someday
i'll wait for you
no matter how long it takes
just promise me you'll come to take me away.

i'd do anything
to be with you

Walking around aimlessly by myself
Atemonaku hitori samayoi rukitsuzuketa
Breathing a faint sigh, my breath turns white
Kasuka na toiki o tada shiroku somete
Seasons change, and in this fleeting season
Utsuri kawari yuku kisetsu no sono hakanasa ni
My tears fall for no reason
Wake mo naku namida go koboreta
Even now, I still love you
Ima mo aishite iru

Falling sadness transforms into pure white snow
Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro na yuki ni kawaru
I'm always viewing the sky above me
Zutto sore o miageteta
Before this body disappears, I want to reach the wish I have now:
Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara
I want to hold you once more
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete

How many times have we misunderstood & hurt each other
Wakari aenakute nandomo kizutsuketeita
Even at those times, we were still gentle
Sonna toki demo itsumo yasashikute
Carved on the ring that you suddenly gave back to me
Fui watasareta yuiwa ni kizamareteita
Was our promise that will never come true
Futari no yakusoku wa kanawanai mama ni
Even now, I remember
Ima mo oboeteiru

These far off thoughts are just brilliant flashes in my memory
Toozakaru omoide wa itsumademo mabushi sugite
I wanted to be next to you
Motto soba ni itakatta
Even though I cant see you anymore, Ill always be next to you
Mou nido to aenai kedo itsumo soba de sasaete kureta
Anata dake we kawaranai de ite
I never want you to change
Saigo ni miseta namida ga kisenakute

I cant erase those last tears that you showed me [from my memory]
Kono shiroi yukitachi to issho ni kiete shimattemo
If I disappear in these snowflakes, I want to bloom in your heart once again
Anata no kokoro no naka ni zutto saite itai kara

Dont forget the warmth of use being close together, and hugging
Yorisotte dakiatta nukumori wa wasurenaide ne
Even if you love someone else
Chigau dareka o aishitemo
I wont let go of the memory when I heard your voice last
Saigo ni kiita anata no koe o kono mama zutto hanasanai mama
I just want to fall into a deep sleep
Fukaku nemuri ni ochitai)

Continuously falling sadness transforms into pure white snow
Furitsuzuku kanashimi wa masshiro no yuki ni kawaru
I'm always viewing the sky above me
Zutto sora o miageteta
Before this body disappears, I want to reach the wish I have now:
Kono karada ga kieru mae ni ima negai ga todoku no nara
I want to hold you once more
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete
I want to hold you once more
Mou ichido tsuyoku dakishimete

-Zan
[ even now, i still love you ]

23.12.09

2009-12-23T20:09:00.000+08:00

not just a game for two.

random fb convo: who knew it would be THIS simple?

19:37Nur Farizan
Hey, err toshi? (can i call you that?) who are you cos-ing as during eoy? Just curious.

19:38Alexander
lol.. it's alright... ehto.. it'll be my last komui cos till next year's cosfest
XD

19:38Nur Farizan
oic.... so when are you cosplaying yunoki...? LOL.

19:39Alexander
lol.. ehto... should be street fest and cosfest to
XD

19:39Nur Farizan
okie! thx for your time. :)

19:40Alexander
too*
and la corda ps
XD
sure
feel free to add me on msn too... XDDD

19:40Nur Farizan
lol...okay.

19:41Alexander is offline.

like, holy shit dude.
and uuhh i think he saw my dp of him when he accepted my invitation.
XD.
like...*wait a minute...i don't remember her taking a shot of me...O.o oh well...CLICKS ACCEPT*
lol.

Toshiro!~ ~ - please come tml... please please PLESH!

dude.
aite...well
confirmed people who i have decided to ~~drag~~ bring to eoy
- Sarah (SHE HAS TO BE MY SKW! lol.)
- Natasha aka ITACHII-KUUN~~! (ohmygosh being tobi/madara is taking its toll on me)
- RUZ! (the stoner photog who will help me take everyone else's pictures)
lolz.
nice mix of people.
and tomorrow i have guides meeting with
UNICYCLE THE ONE AND ONLY
XD.
(staring at his display name being online is already a thrill)
and after that i have to get ruz's presale tix from paninthebox at eHub
maybe i should as sarah too...and nat if they want theirs. so i buy one shot easier.
and i have to return my
BLOODLINE: RECKONING
cause its overdue by..one day
haha.
and pay my library fine...
lol.
so yeah peoples.
good night!
maybe i'll find the courage to chat with him someday.
:)

-Zan
[ you have no idea how you make me feel ]

22.12.09

2009-12-22T22:45:00.005+08:00

lol spell wrongly.

this must be one of the most...
random days of my life.
lets recap these few days.

monday 21st december
went to school to be backup singer aka slack
with farah, lidiya and alicia
cause they were jamming..
haha.
so fun sia.
i managed to finish my 2 plain paper questions.
and my ldq...
so i'm left with malay and history.
i just realised that i can actually block out everything and do whatever i wanted to do..
thats how i managed to do my ldq..lol.
so anyway
we went to kfc to eat...
it was filling but did not make me bloated...
that was how hungry i was. lol.
then we went to play on the spiderweb
well... we didn't actually play.
we emo-ed and cam whored. lol. WHORE. lol.
pics:

my hand stuck out...lol. farah and lidiya were clinging for their lives.

heartshaapee...

heartbroken lol.

farah's face kena sun...lol.

ignore the vandalisations...XD
then suddenly this old woman came out and screamed at us to go home
but we didn't know why cause she was speaking chinese.
then we just went home cause we were scared.
it had something to do with our stuff, bushes...O.o
lidiya was over-speculating. as always.
lol.
then when we were walking suddenly this crazy dog started barking at me..
then i screamed and jumped.
and lidiya stoped dead in her tracks
and farah jumped onto the road...O.o
almost kena accident.
stupid dog.
2nd time some stupid dog bark at me...

aite so today...
>///>; gosh.
woke up late...(again)
and was the last sec1 to come for the Unicycle meeting
hahaa guides thing.
Motto-Cycle....Unicycle...
feel like some minah rempit lol.
anyway
we discussed patrol name, identity and campfire item...
do you want me to tell you?
okay i tell you because lidiya said my posts are like so short..
>.>"

its called 80 days around the world
so we are unicyclists
and we are from MADAGASCAR! (I like to, you like to, she like to, we like to... MOVE IT!)
yes, we have to sing and dance...lol.
so we cycled to...
SINGAPORE
then none of us had any SGD
(in Singapore without a dollar! dance)
but min fay had a...
TANGS VOUCHERR!!!
hahahahhaa...LMAO.
anyway....after we bought our stuff...
we cycled to...
AMAZON RAINFOREST!
and there our flashlights ran out of batteries
so we all decide to drink all the water in our waterbottles
then we catch the fireflies inside...so they can light up the way.
hahaha....
next, we cycled to KOREA!
lol...
where we lost 3of 4 unicycles after being trampled on by
wondergirl(sec 3s)'s fans
damn hilarious okay....
suddenly we're being attacked by a possesed mob...
XDD...the weird "trampled on" poses.
then after that we went to PP around there to get standardized stuffs.
and then we ate at PP Macs!
yayy...lol.
we actually wanted to go to the Spiderweb...
but simin told us to go to plaza sing to find the patrol identity thing...
(bandanna!)
haha.
so there we go!
we went to daiso to look for bandanna...
for 11 people...
in the end we decided on black
because it was the only one which had enough stock there...lol.
the queue was so loooooooong!
XD.
after we went to daiso we lepak-ed around
and i brought min fay, ren yi and wei ting
to otaku house!
they were like..
"eh, eyd we go here and buy clothes,"
i was like... YES! YES!
ahahah...
then i said...but abit ex lah...hehehe...
then we went about lah...talking crap...
AND THE DARREN SHAN MOVIE IS GOING TO BE RELEASED 7 JAN!!!!!!
ohmiigoooshhhh....
but mr. crepsley not cool lah...
lol.
cirque du freak!
yawww...haha
okay anyway.
after that i went on my
SPY MISSION!
in the end i met my cuz on esplanade rooftop
haha
and i followed them around..
and made new friends! haha...
and saw toshi...8D
okay, yall just need to know that i followed them to supreme court and got this!
haha.
scray(?) was like screaming COURT IN SECTION-I MEAN SESSION!
lol...
met
Ruru...the makeup artist!
Fumi....the water skw! aka sec 2 NP lance corpral...lol.
Scray...the sec 3 guides person! future company leader! LOL. (hibiscus patrol)
and one sec 4 guides person who was actually from sunflower but became ixora's PS.

OMG!!!! haha.

you don't have to read the text below.

you don't need to trouble yourselves by highlighting the following text to see what i wrote. you can just go on with life and totally forget the fact that there was a big black space in zan's blog.

ohgodtoshiissofuckingsexythefirsttimeisawhimwheniwalkedthorughtheglas

sdoorsmyheartwasonthebrinkofjumpingoutmymouthandiheardanofficialsoundingvoicea

ndithoughtwhowasititwasactuallymycousinandimethisfriendstheywereallveryfriendlytomean

dallthegirlsweresecondaryschool/year1polyitwassofuntalkingtothemitriednottostareattoshia

ndhisawesomenesswhenhefinishedphotoshootingontheroofhesmiledandwavedandsaidhitom

eandicouldseehisbluecontactsandilovehisaldobootsandhisbelthewaswearingthisspandexshirt

withtightjeansandaldobootscaptivatingmuchhekeptcatchingmestaringathimbuthedoesntse

emtomindatallithinkhesalovelyguyandhefannedallthegirlsonthestonestepsofsupremecourtiwass

oshockedanssurprisedhewasgoingtodropdownanddopumpingjustforushewasoneofthethreepe

oplewhoactuallysaidbyeandwavedtomeandsmiled.

-Zan

[ when all you wanted was to be wanted ]

19.12.09

2009-12-19T20:58:00.000+08:00

You're so much like him, Louis

good evening frieends!

haha.

i got the shock of my life when i went to my blog..

i didn't expect toshi's pic to be so

FRIGGIN BIG.

recap time!

2 days ago, i went to WS library

to go do homework with si hui.

well, she didn't really do anything except for read.

haha,

i managed to finish my maths... um except for the plain paper questions.

lol.

because i didn't bring my compass or plain paper.

and i was sms-ing abang farhan

suddenly, when i was eating my instant noodle at the bus interchange,

he asked me what

"doushite"

means.

so i told him lah. it means why.

then sekali he said toshi asked him why i liked him

at that moment, i just felt like shoving a shotgun barrel into some sorry guy's ass.

not abang farhan.

or toshi.

=.="

okay seriously. how many cute guys can you meet in a girl school??

haiz.

okay lah whatever

played like random kids yesterday

with shahira my junior and the playground kids

TWISTER WAS FUN!

hahaha i won all the games.

XDD.

you just need to be attentive.

lol.

we should bring twister to eoy, seriously.

haha

see what you end up with.

lol! the gay man in the show together

left with half of ldq, 2 plain paper qns and malay hw!

woots

EOY IS NEXT WEEK!

time for GTA..... SHISHOU STYLE!

The coal-haired man had nothing but the bed covers to preserve his decency. But it wasn't as if he actually gave a fuck if the teen saw him naked. After all, the purple-haired teen was the one whom he had slept with the night before. He lighted a cigarette and blew out the smoke through his mouth. The teen had a wine glass in his hand, filled with red liquid. Elegantly, he sipped the red elixir slowly, observing the older man. Unlike his client, the teen was already fully clothed.

"Not satisfied?" Madara asked the teen cheekily, twirling the cigarette between his lean fingers.

"You got jobs?" words flowed out from bloodstained lips. Rozu kept a half-lidded eye on Madara as he drained his glass. Suddenly a beeping sound cracked the silence of the room. Madara slid his free hand over to the end table and picked up a black cellphone.

"Hah. Orochimaru? He's a dead man," Madara spoke into the phone, tone deadly. The older man placed his phone back onto the table and sighed.

"Your lucky day today, lovely. Get rid of Orochimaru and get Sasuke back here. Thats all," Madara said, putting out his cigarette. He stood up, giving Rozu a kiss on the lips.

"It's going to cost you," Rozu whispered into Madara's ear. A soft chuckle came from the older man's lips.

"Don't worry. You'll get more than just money,"

With that, Rozu walked out of the exquisite penthouse apartment, down into the strip club, and out onto the street.

YAY! haha me and my randomness.

the thing is.

Rozu is the BlaueRozen, aka Mafia's underdog

um, who also happens to be Madara's lover.

and madara is the owner of a very successful strip club.

i'm laughing my guts out as i write this.

so sasuke got kidnapped by orochimaru

and its BlaueRozen's job to get him back and kill Orochimaru

too much GTA with my bro.

-Zan

[ dear black bishop; i miss you ]

16.12.09; OMG CUTE ALLE-NEKO-KUUN!

2009-12-16T13:51:00.001+08:00

heyhey!
omg....alle....with neko ears....!!!
so cuuute...
orang yang cosplay tu pun cute
hahahahhaa...
okok...lol.
uppdaaattte tiiimmee....

yesterday...memorable moment number one.
lol.
or something
though my mom was ranting before, during and after the event.
we went to pan-in-the box...
and the wig shop...
and i finally FINALLY got my first costume...lol.
plus presale tix.
total cost: $300.
dude.
and then when i went home...
i went to emir's house..
this is what happened.
lol.
i look shorrttt!
damn shit.

lol. terrorizing sarah is fun.

ummm... i was wearing cedar fiesta tee and cheetah track pants inside

lol.

i'll try wearing it properly next time..

dude the wig is awesome...hahha

everyone thought i was a guy...XDD

and the cloak owns...dunnid to bind hahaha

unless somehow on the day i decide to wear a pushupbra...lol.

i dunno for what reason i'd do that...lol.

but i need better track pants...this one ah

the pocket so big... my handphone keeps slipping out.

if i lose my fone during eoy die

hahaha

and my mom wants to follow me to eoy...

O.o

i will purposely lose her or something

eehhh skalli got random yaoi then i involved how.... aiyooo...hahahha

lots of random shit lah...

O.o

i dowan her to be there! lol.

i told her... u dunnid sit next to me in the bus/mrt

hahaha

so XD.

it weel be soo funn

because i'm going to paint my nails...and my toenails...

LOL!

akatsuki: takde kerja lain.

yeah and i think i'm gonna try do hw later..

after i bathe...XD.

bloody internet keeps restarting on me..

I WAN GO PEOPLE'S PROFILE ALSO CANNOT ISIT.

say hello to tobi for ceyd also! muahahahahahaha....

terrorize secones...XPP

i'm so friggin evil.

WHY SARAH

WHY YOU CALL ME FGE...=.="

FreakingGayEunuch.

aka a gay guy with no balls.

=.="

no seriously, wtf?

DID YOU KNOW SUIGETSU'S BI?????

MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

"Would you rather lose a lover or love a loser?

love a loser"

OMG YES!

bwahaha-ha.

OI YOU MUST GO EOY OKAY???

I WANT TO MEET YOU AGAIN!!!

SHIT LAH YOU.

(um...not directed to you...haha....i don't think you know who...lol)

i wan go that person's photoshoot......

the 22nd dec one....

the GUNDAM00 one...

>.<

but i'm not skw!

and i'm not photog.

okay lah whatever seh.

enjoy my new blogskin.

current music: Bad Romance - Lady GaGa

-Zan

[ i want my izuna ]

13.12.09; InTheEnd

2009-12-13T15:05:00.000+08:00

an idiot's love song

hey, yall really don't need to read this post.

but you can, i guess.

you must be really bored, hm?

here goes nothing.

just some feeling.

and HEART.

i can sypathise with kaito.

kaito niikura

the guy from in the end

we seem so similar you know?

maybe you'll think so too.

its something called teenage angst.

kaito's mom doesn't care about him

but always takes her husband's side.

this is actually my dad's role.

my mom is the hypocrite

who just says that she cares

all she cares about is actually the family reputation

prrof:

"...it's because they recognize you as my daughter..."

and then

my parents will hate everything i stand for.

you know?

visual kei

uses: to calm your nerves and blast into your ears when people are talking to you

proof:

"...why are you listening to your brother's rock music?"

just for the record,

punk rock and visual kei are two different things.

"...so noisy, listen to something more classy..."

i couldn't give more of a ****

"...why are you keeping obscene pictures of women...???!"

thats shou, the alice nine vocalist. kay?

and the fashion sense is something too.

"...you and your crazy fashion..."

it aint crazy. its visual kei.

call it weird, but its me.

my clothes are the only things who tell the world who i am inside.

cosplay

i constantly get into fights with my mom about this.

cause she can't undestand the ecstasy that comes when you cosplay.

the thrill

the excitement

the preparation

the countdown before the day

you can never get as much attention.

'tis my drug.

don't shove religion into this

it has nothing to do with it.

i never asked you if i could cosplay some

satanic cult person

just your average tobimadara akatsuki member

is it such a crime

to do what you love most

is it

no, you tell me

and off to another world

reyna said..."....i want to be an artist..."

i almost cried

someone else actually believed in that.

i asked her, why?

"...so that I can paint pictures,"

the simple joys in life

thank you.

hey...

thirteen more days

when can i ever get my costume

luckily for me

all i need to handmake is the friggin mask.

which...should....if i chiong....should take me three days at the most.

three days means more screw ups.

i should actually start it now

but unfortunately

i still have

gan eng seng paper

geography ldq

malay book review

malay letter

history presentation

to do.

i'm so not going to screw with my sims today.

i have to chiong the gan eng seng paper

then i'll try to find what the hell we're supposed to do for the bloody presentation.

and ask... for a photocopy of the malay letter.

-Zan

[ i don't want this dream to end, cause they're going to throw me back into the darkness ]

11.12.09

2009-12-11T14:55:00.000+08:00

taken off flickr: Tobi_2008

ironic no?

hey peeps!

ehhh

you know i just watched ep 139

like....WOOOOOW....

hahaha

but i so sad hahha

itachi died man...

lol (even though i read the manga already)

OMG YALL MUST CHECK OUT THIS WEBSITE!

http://members3.jcom.home.ne.jp/c.lily/

LILY ROCKS MAN!

WOOT!

her art is sooo so so nice!

goshh...

dudes.... its freaking cool shit okay

her art is like realistic but not realistic...like how to say ah...

its not cartoonish

its like....fantasy-ish?

hahahha how to say seh

*suddenly Sign starts to play*

O.o

why so loud.

hahaha

currently listening to

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift.

apparently lily really likes itachi hahaha

so always he kena jadi sasaran (he becomes the victim)

like theres some...

(I WROTE MADA.)

ItaDei

MadaIta

KisaIta

ItaSasu

yeah...

and some HashiMada...

very funny sia she draw.

yesterday, sarah got so freaked out by the

christmas eve fanfic...

ehh did u noe chistmas eve

is madara's bdae...lol.

so ironic seh

we are so surrounded by irony

and i havent touched any of my

BALLOONS

NEWSPAPER

WHITE GLUE

ORANGE PAINT

BLACK MARKER

get the hints?????

=.="

and my homework is still not done

i'm SO looking forward to writing an ldq...

=.=" not.

and the bloody shit of maths homework

FISH IT!

damn right.

have you guys ever...hmm...

gotten pai-seh-ed by the world?

like there's this huge coincidence

to something you REALLY don't want to talk about.

i don't know if you guys know but last year,

before, during and after PSLE,

i was writing this yaoi vamp fic

and there were 2 characters in it (main)

alexander lamperogue

akemi kururugi

yeah.

(too much code geass)

and NOW

there so happens to be a certain...

guy

named

alexander....

=.="

>///<

and the brand of my bolster

BOLSTER

YES, BOLSTER.

is akemi.

dude.

DUDE.

=.="

can i be OOC now???

hahaha talking as rozu is so much

FUN.

(fum, fum, fum go the guns from quillian! kill them betches!)

O.o

I awoke to the sound of...not birds chirping, Konan's bickering, or Madara groaning. Instead, I awoke to the sound of Pein's voice. Wait, that didn't seem right. I wrenched my eyes open and finally acknowleged the warm presence next to my head. A nanosecond later, I recognized two different chakras. Pein's and Madara's. I rolled my eyes. My head was on Madara's chest. I remained there for another moment before intentionally pushing Madara away, rolling to the other side of the bed and snatching away all the blanket. Let the bastard show himself to Pein. I don't think he'd mind anyway.

"... Five Great Nations are planning to...*cough*" Pein looked away from the coal-haired man.

"ROZU!" As he threw his fist at me, I leapt up from the bed and threw my pillow between his legs. I quickly got dressed and waved at my two fellow superiors before dispersing as bats and flying out the window. I could have sworn Madara's eye twitched.

I stepped in through the window of my room. The scent of blood and burnt wax filled my senses.

"That was some show huh," Zetsu's lighter side stated.

"Don't accuse blindly. It was entirely his fault. He totally saw it coming," I replied absent-mindedly as i stepped into the intricate magic circle and lighted the nine candles.

"I don't-"

"Hush hush Zetsu,"

I felt a gust of wind sweep through the room. The spirits were here.

FF- 3 HOURS LATER

"I still find that creepy... even after you've done it so many times," Zetsu said. I sighed and stared at him. He was still standing at the same spot. Since three hours ago.

"Sasuke's looking for you," Zetsu's dark half reported.

"I wonder what that ungrateful brat has to say now. I swear I'm going to kill the whole of Hawk off soon," I murmured, closing the door behind me. As usual, Zetsu strode off to my side.

"Won't Madara-sama be angry if you do?" Zetsu asked, smirking.

"The day he gets angry at me will be the day I become the true leader of Akatsuki. Literally and figuratively speaking," I told him. I banged on Sasuke's door.

"Open up ****face!"

BOOM.(z)

The door seemed to fly open, leaving a very angry Sasuke in the doorway. He furrowed his brows and stared at me and Zetsu.

"I wanted to see you two hours ago," he said through clenched teeth.

"You should be surprised I'm even here to see you," I replied, voice full of venom, while admiring my newly-painted/buffed fingernails. The teen 'tch'-ed me before glaring at me with his blood-red Sharingan eyes.

"Madara told me to train with you," He spat it out as though it was such a disgusting suggestion.

"That's Madara-sama to you, betch. Oh he did, did he? Guess he got pissed by your idiocy and decided to refer you to me, oh-so-patient Rozu, did he?" I mocked him straight in the face. The three black commas in his eyes swirled and transformed into the Mangekyo Sharingan.

"You'd better shut up and know you're place, you WHORE," he whispered forcefully. Zetsu remained silent thorugh all of this.

"Ooooh, I'm SO scared, Madara-sama! Sasuke-kuun's going to use his Mangekyo Sharingan on mee~! " I squealed in an unnecessarily high-pitched voice, holding up my hands as though in surrender. Sasuke growled. I dared him by staring into his eyes. He pulled me into a Tsukuyomi.

In front of me, stood Madara and Sasuke. Madara unsheathed his katana and began to stab my stomach.

"Worthless boy..." Madara said to me.

Blood flowed out in gallons onto the floor. Sasuke watched over, smug smile on his face. I laughed.

"Do you really think the real Ma-dara would be as foolish a-as to do this? Sasuke, this is my i-idea of foreplay you know," I said between stabs. I transformed into Itachi and snatched Madara's sword from him, tossing it aside. Then I went up to Madara and embraced him, kissing him in the process. Sasuke stared in shock. His face was in disgust. I quickly broke away from the Tsukuyomi world.

Sasuke was kneeling on the floor, panting. I used my foot to push him down on the floor, pressing against his windpipe. His face slowly drained of colour. It was going to turn blue soon.

"Rozu, release him,"
I recognized Pein's presence and let go of the worthless little whiny bitch.

"Rozu, as much as I realise your apparent hate towards Sasuke, do try your best to keep him alive. Madara finds him worthy of this organisation. As you know, his word is law,"
Pein calmly told me, strolling towards Sasuke. He was still gasping for breath.

"And Zetsu, next time these two are in a 10 metre radius within each other, please ensure that there are no conflicts,"

"Yes, sir,"

"Pein-sama, I apologise. I shall try to do my best for Akatsuki," I apologised bowing my head. My elongated fangs bit into my lower lip. Droplets of blood dripped down my chin. This always happened after I used the magic circle. My usually bright red eyes turned a darker shade of red, like dried blood. I could feel my sharp fingernails against the soft fabric of the Akatsuki cloak. Pein walked off, leaving Sasuke, Zetsu and I.

MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.

currently listening to
Abracadabra - Brown Eyed Girls

-Zan
[ soap, give me soap, i will clean everything i will clean my armpit hair ]

10.12.09

2009-12-10T20:02:00.000+08:00

one like no other

good evening my fellow peoples!

is that rose cool or whaaatttt hahhaa

currently listening to:

Abracadabra (Parody) - 2PM&2AM

i tell you it sounds and looks damn GAY.

okay so like whatever

sarah came to my house just now..

so kental lah

only like.......

2h? 1h 30 min????

WTF seh.

waste money only.

HEYHEY

hahah so excited for the upcoming ep!

the seiyuu for madara can feel stressed now hahaha

need to talk so much...

one grandfather story...(LOL! IRONY MUCH!)

XDXDDDDD

yeah

then i wanna noe...

WILL DANZO DIE????

muahahhahahahhahahaha

lol.

etc.etc.

abracadabra dance by _____

hahhaha so smexy!!

lol.

this is what happened when madara decided to take a certain quiz.

he got...

I'M AN EMO ATHLETE WITH A SEXY SMILE WHO SHOT AN EASTER EGG BECAUSE I'M AS SEXY AS HELL.

lol.

and for rozu....

I'M A FREAKY WEIRDO WITH A NICE ASS WHO CUDDLED WITH YOUR GRANDMA BECAUSE I'M GAY

somehow it fits huh...

-Zan

[ tell me that wasn't the last moment

'cause i want to see your beautiful face again ]

RANDOM AFTERMATH!

"DO YOU LOVE ME?"

"DO YOU LOVE HER?"

tellmeyoulovemebaby.

FANSERVICE

(to the tunes of LOVE GAME!)

hehhehehe....dowan luhhs... (WHY ALL THE PICS SO X-RATED ONE??)

dudees, use your imagination.

ehbustedbastardssomuchmadaitawhygotnomadaizuandhashimada

09.12.09

2009-12-09T21:47:00.002+08:00

.salvation.

WHO WANTS TO SEE MY RANDOM PLAYLIST???

1) The Love From A Dead Orchestra - Versailles
2) Shout and Bites - Versailles
3) Beast of Desire - Versailles
4) Forbidden Gate - Versailles
5) The Red Carpet Day - Versailles
6) Sympathia - Versailles
7) The Revenant Choir - Versailles
8) Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
9) Love Story - Taylor Swift
10) Sign - Flow
11) Mama Do - Pixie Lott
12) Ring Ding Dong - SHINee
13) You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
14) So Hot - Wonder Girls

WTF MUCH???
hahhahahaha
i feeling so random now.
ehh idk but Mama Do sounds cool!! hahahhaha
and bad romance...

BEJEWELED! takde kerja lain...XDXD
how he play until so pro ah....O.o.....

i'm screwing with madara's picture btw....=D
see what i come up with lah
muahahahahahaha

couldn't resist...sorry =)

so anyway

today went to school to do homework

with farah and lidiya!

and we met gaya and sabrina AND yixuan...=D

so random!

and then farah and i went to PP macs

we ordered for every1 and then walked back to sch...

hahaha lucky we didnt get stuck in the rain...

O.o...

and lidiya couldn't stop bashing the piano

=.="

then when lidiya was otw

farah and i got bored

so we went to the fitness thingy and played like monkeys

hahahhaha

"farah, if i fall down, you die ah"

"I CANT PULL MYSELF UP!!!"

hahhaha

the familiar sensation of blisters on my palm = <3

hahhaa so nostalgic....

those days!

and then the stupid bloody fucking (continues on) dog!

go bark like crazy... when we never did anything!

i screamed and clutch umairah

umairah scream

then sabrina scream

and farah was like O.o

stupid dog. shutthefuckup.

ROZU

i want your love and i want your revenge

you and me could write a bad romance
i want your love and all your lover's revenge

you and me could write a bad romance

i want your psycho, your vertical stick
want you in my room when your baby is sick
i want your love, love, love, love
i want your love

you know that i want you
and you know that i need you
'Cause i'm a free bitch, baby
i want a bad, bad romance

Why should I feel ashamed?

Feeling guilty at the mention of your name
Here we are again
It’s nearly perfect

What would my mama do

oh oh oh oh
If she knew ‘bout me and you?
oh oh oh oh
What would my daddy say
oh oh oh oh
If he saw me hurt this way?
oh oh oh oh

-Zan
[ A red rose I don't want to feel the thorns but I still grasp it tightly

This aching desire is my weakness and yet it smells so sweet ]

07.12.09; 08.12.09 - DAMNIT YOU BUSTED PIECE OF SHIT

2009-12-08T16:18:00.000+08:00

okay before i start, a random LINE which has been stuck in my head....=.="

"ofcourse, rivonze-san"

HAHAHAHAHA okay i'm like so sesat.
currently listening to BEAST OF DESIRE

this is going to be one of the most longest posts in the history of this blog.
lol.

30.11.09
HOMEWORK SESSION WITH LALA. (the aftermath)

muahahahhaa

and i learned that....

erm wait, i can't remember.

MOVING ON!

("...BEAT YOU HANDS DOWN!")

okay i wrote some blogger notes during my stay so that i don't forget what happened.

so i'll just put it there and elaborate more on each point as we go on.

maddiekins tagged along!

Day 1 - 3rd December '09

~~PLANE~~ FLIGHT REMTIMED 3H LATER -> LATE ARRIVAL OF AIRCRAFT

actual flight was supposed to be at 10.35am

then they changed to 1.35pm

so we were like...whaaat....

then wasted seh my aunt and uncle already were at the airport.

so they had to go home.

and like they live in Hougang...

taxi fare was like.... S$20...=.="

WAIT WHAT? I HAVE TO TAKE OFF MY JACKET?!

this was at the gate...you know when they scan through your stuff and shit....

yeah.

then the lady was like, you have to take off your jacket.

i was like....O.o okay.

and underneath was only my blue tee.... and i was wearing a selendang...

dude wtf???

and i passed the metal detector check!

UBER COOL EXPERIENCE - PLANE TAKING OFF

hahha i was jakon-ing in the plane

because i hadnt taken a plane in like...

YEARS.

yes, i think you all get it by now.

EARS BLEEDING

yeah that sensation you get in the plane....

when the plane was going to touchdown

my ears were thisclose to bleeding.

haiz.

UM HELLO, WHY ARE YOU STUFFING YOUR OVERSIZED TRAVEL BAGS INTO THE COMPARTMENTS? =.="

there were like all these irritating people

who wanted to put their OVER 5KG bags into the overhead compartments...

and in the process whacking everyone...

DUDE!

there's something called cargo for a reason.

damn smart sia they all.

WHAT?! S$3 FOR A TNIY CAN OF PRINGLES??!!

no seriously, wtf?

overpriced much.

LET ME GET THIS RIGHT. YOU'RE SELLING PERFUMES.

on the plaaannee....

courtesy cabin crew.

THIS MUST BE THEIR VERSION OF T3

impressive terminal at sabah! =D

its nice...

but the toilet not so nice...hahahaha

lol okay moving on..... (SUGAR COATED ROCKS! GO HASHIMADA!)

WHERE ARE THE *GASP*(F)-ING SIGNBOARDS???!!!

yeah, when we reached.... we were utterly confused..

if we went the wrong way, it would be...

HORRIBLE.

so difficult to find your way to the immigration counters you know...so irritating.

ZE GEH REZEPZIONEEST(thegayreceptionist) -> WHERE'S YOUR NAMETAG?

hahahhaa there was this uber gay receptionist...lol.

dunno what his name was...unfortunately...XDXD

WOAH, COOL SHIT DUDE (FROM HOTEL ROOM)

yeah seh.

for a 4 star hotel in sabah its pretty damn good!
not to mention the gigantic bathroom....

hahhaha so fun staying thar.

WE HAVE WIRELESS!!!

haha this was what happened when i turned on my laptop..

there were two random wireless networks....UNSECURE

but still can use hahahhaa wtf.

so yeah i used the internet....

PARENTS: MY DAUGHTER IS VIEWING A WEIRD-LOOKING 18-YEAR-OLD'S FACEBOOK PROFILE AND I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT

hahhahaha you can guess whose!

FAILED ATTEMPT AT WEBCAM WITH LALA

the sound was laggy...

the footage was laggy..

BUT THEY WERE PLAYING CALL OF DUTY!!!!!! WOOO!!!

CAN I SLEEP ON THE CHAIR

(ehhh omg MadaIta WTF?? FTW!!!)

there was only a queen sized bed

and one easy chair..

so i asked if i could sleep there...ahhaha

then in the end i had to squeeze at the side of the bed...talking 1/5 up....=.="

-SQUEEZED-

hahaha read above.

NO! NOT SEAFOOD....(FROM EATING GONG2 AND LIKING BELACAN)

eee...my mom forced me to eat the thingy..

it tasted like...RUBBER! (okay, NO! just NO!)

and i had to eat kang kung with belacan...

which was quite nice actually.

OMG WHATT UNTIL CHAPTER 30 ONLY??????????? damn.

okay sorryy heheheheh as i was saying.

WEIRD DREAM: GUNDAM SEED

apparently i was some kind of commander ahahha

i was wearing like Marie's shirt...

and ncc number 3 skirt...lol.

hahhaha

I WAS DRIVING!! lol

driving away athrun from some trouble..hahaha

and yzak got punished cause he was late...hahahahahhaa....okok random much???

Day 2 - 4th December '09

FRIED BEE HOON FOR BREAKFAST. PERFECT.

damn heavy breakfast lah can???

but the hash (i was going to write hashirama) brown was nice...hehehhehehhe

(but the hashirama was nice? Sounds like something madara would say)

haiz. haha

HIGH SODIUM CONTENT (FROM SAUSAGES)

want to die isit... so salty...

okay somehow this is...turning out to be awfully WRONG.

DAMN YOU RANDOM YAOI LEMON!

MR.DRIVER, WHERE ARE YOU?

making an evil, schizophrenic psychopath wait for 45 mins is not a good way to start your day.

HOLY SHIT DUDE

i tell you the friggin scenery....

aiyo.....literally takes your breath away.......

OMG MORE SHOUNEN-AI!!!!!

lol random

FLY INVASION

why are there so many friggin flies???

flying around the table......haiz.

I'LL BE FOURTEEN IN 41 DAYS, SO CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TREATING ME LIKE A SPOILED FIVE-YEAR OLD?

seriously. i can eat whatever you people want to eat.

don't need to shove food down my throat.

I WANT TO SHAKE THE BRIDGE

this was at perkasa hotel up near mt. kinabalu

there was a suspension bridge...

and a nagging voice in my head told me to shake it hahaha

unfortunately, there was a sign that prevented me from doing so.

:'d

FRIGGIN MOSQUITOES

so irritating....sucking all our BLOODDDDD.....lol.

okok...hahahahha

Rozu's face comes to mind. XDD

I LOVE BABY KAI LAN WITH OYSTER SAUCE

frankly speaking...i love everything when you put oyster sauce with it....=D

LOL!!!

ARE YOU SURE YOU WANTED TO GO OUTSIDE? ('CAUSE ITS BLOODY COLD OUT THAR)

OKAY AND WHATEVER MUCH.

-Zan

[ shut up. just shut up. cause this moment has to LAST ]

03.12.09; Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia Day 1

2009-12-03T22:18:00.000+08:00

Hey people who read this blog!
its my first day today at kota kinabalu
and i'm writing this on my mini laptop
in
imperial international hotel

saw a cool gay receptionist.
wrote more but bloody wireless went wonky.

-Zan
[ this dream will come true....someday ]

26.11.09

2009-11-26T18:43:00.000+08:00

yellow my fellow readers!
does anyone happen to have a copy of
'How to Convince Your Parents to Buy You A Cosplay Costume'
?
'cause that would be nice.
this ain't directed at anyone you know....
at least i don't think you know.
so don't misunderstand

hey, who knows that you
are something like me
dear, close your eyes
you can make it through this life
just so you know,
there are people out there who care for you
i should stop being so selfish
you, who just got out of that situation
you, who is too kind for his own good
i should give you some time
but 5 years is five years
am i who you dream me to be?
no, you must still be thinking of her?
you're misunderstood,
but maybe i can understand your story
i don't care what they say
and you shouldn't either.
can we be friends?
but this is really awkward for you
but can you take off your mask for me?
cause i can take off mine for you
and i'm tearing up this second
just thinking of you
this loneliness is getting to me
maybe i'm just that desperate
and you're heartbroken
and i'm lovesick
this isn't going to work out isn't it?
cause it feels like one of those
dreams
where i want them to continue
to take me away from this reality.
can you be the first one who says that to me?
those three words
.
many years ago, i had him
now we're friends
then last year,
like a dream, i thought of him
but he wasn't interested
and now he's lost
but now, you.
heartbroken, lost.
you're not looking for love, you're looking for friendship
please

that felt nice, to let it all out....
hmm...
this is the first time i've written so much about....
~~AJTWNTalexanderjameousentanweingeetoushiro~~

so how's life dudes?
i still haven't done any homework lately...
haha,
just like the rest of my level...XD
suddenly listening to so many taylor swift songs!!
haha random seh.
FIFTEEN!
WHITE HORSE!
O.o....
and SYMPATHIA!
okay, that was by versailles ah
taylor doesn't sing Visual Kei songs...hahaha
can you imagine?
can lah, she will look like hizaki and mana
hahahha...

taylor swift

hizaki

mana (in the dress)

XDXDXDXD

i love doing this shit.

keeps my mind occupied.

sorry for the short post!

-Zan

[ i was wrong ]

25.11.09

2009-11-25T13:03:00.001+08:00

going to attempt to do english today!
haha.
some alpha-ians came to my house just now!
haha they wanted to use my kitchen for ROD meals....
they came at 8.30am around there lol.
haha they were amazed at the resourcefulness of my house...XD
aka banyak sampah!
lol.
they so kecoh ahh

ehh toshiro wasn't at cosfest haha lucky seh.
or something.
i like the blood bath thing haha!
MASS MURDER! wan see?

GO ALLE!!
hahahaha
MASS MURDERER: HALLELUJAH HAPTISM
XD.
waddefuck man.
cool shit lahh can....
and anyway,

HI GUYS!
lol random moments.
like just now,
when i walked past the kindergarten (sp?)...
i suddenly had homicidal thoughts...XDXD
too much AFA causes this shit.
COME TO AFA!
COME TO AFA!
COME TO AFA!
COME TO AFA KANAMEEE-SAMAAA!!!
lol...
thats what my cousin said hahahaha

currently listening to
SIGN by FLOW
the chorus is damn nice...

Tsutaeni kitayo kizuato tadotte

Sekai ni oshitsubusarete shimau mae ni
Oboeterukana namida no sora o
Ano itami ga kimi no koto o mamotte kureta
Sono itami ga itsumo kimi o mamotterunda

okay lets have english translation, lol.

That comes to tell me, follow the scars
Before you're crushed by the world
Do you remember? The sky of tears
That pain protected you
That pain is always protecting you

one of the most complicated words:
kanjinakunacchaeba
LOL!
7 syllables man!!
harddcoreee
i'm using HOT PIIINNKKKK lol

oh and lidiya should have said...
only people like farizan would listen to shredding and metal 24/7
i mean just look at versailles.
LOL!!!
the revenant choir...
come let me show you again.
haha tak puas hati... and its JAP METAL! wtf sia

-Zan
[ smile for me; and my troubles will disappear,
speak to me; and my doubts will clear,
hold me dear to your heart; and this darkness will disperse ]

24.11.09

2009-11-24T16:56:00.000+08:00

HELLOOO FRIEENDSSS!!!!!
hey mansss
har-har
AFA WAS LIKE... WOW!
heh!
and now then i want to upload cosfest pics
XD

wee kim wee challenge..
unfortunately, we didn't win anything.
just the plaque for 3rd in south division.
yeaps.
eh sad seh...
anyway, vignesh told me that SCGS were our rivals...
O.o.
they so tao....why ah.... :(
anyway.....
TKSS won!
lol.
i guess we just have to learn from them...
yup yup..
and by the way, we cooked/prepared...
1) Spaghetti
2) Winter melon red date soup
3) Cut fruits
4) Vitamin juice
the judges told us that the spaghetti was very hard
partly because we cooked it first...
yeah
then we just set aside...
so yeah
and we arrived late...like 30min late....
so we only had 1h 30min to cook
ironically, we started last but finished first
technically it tells you something about our dishes...
hahaha....
SCGS were cooking next to us and we could like smell their tumeric rice
we were like...
O.O so nice.......
ahahaha.
then in the end we had to eat our spaghetti on vignesh's tray
BECAUSE we forgot to bring plates,
then uncle gus wanted his plates back...
yeah.

(AJT addict!)

RANDOM PERR
okok as i was saying ahha about wee kim wee
then we talked alot to mdm zetty
she's nice haha
unfortunately, mdm tan couldn't make it.
and i was like reading romeo and juliet in the bus...lol.
random much?

OUCH!
Vanilla suddenly blasted into my ears.
"KIMI NO VANILLA"
gosh, gackt.

and then!
AFA!
haha
went with vanitha and sarah
sarah was so enthu to go and take pictures with the
kuroshitsuji people...
lol.
except for finny and meyrin
ahaha-ha.
but sad lah
got like four/three ciels, one elizabeth, one finny, one meyrin
and ONLY ONE SEBASTIAN!
a nerdy one with damn spiky hair haha
but still, cool costume dudes.
but not man pro cosplayers
i was heartbroken at the tobi!!!!
haha
but we got many candid shots
aka cosplayers holding my tobi doll.
the most epic moment was this.
when we were asking Pein and Konan cosplayers.

Konan cosplayer: Oh look, its Tobi. (makes a lol face)
Pein cosplayer: *stares*
Sarah: Um, hi can we take a picture of you two?
Pein cp-er: Er, we are resting now so come back in ten minutes.
Konan cp-er: We're resting, sorry.
Sarah: Oh, okay thank you.

Pein said it in such a scary voice...

Sarah: Um can you pretend to tear Tobi apart?
Konan cp-er: WHAT?!
Sarah: Tear him apart. Pretend.
Konan cp-er: *holds Tobi's hand*
Pein cp-er: *stares at Konan*... *squashes Tobi's head*

ULTIMATE LOL!
and i met abang farhan there!
cool shit or what.
lol.
btw, i asked
- Naruto
- Sasuke
- Kakashi
- Tobi (YES!)
- Pein
- Konan
cosplayers
to hold the Tobi doll.
LOL!
the tobi cosplayer was like...
staring at sarah holding the tobi doll
hahahhaha
and i saw a male crossdresser!
his legs no hair u noe
OMG so envious! haha.
and that day we had like some kind of genie with us or something.

Sarah: Eh aren't there any Kuroshitsuji cosplayers?
*Kuroshitsuji cosplayers suddenly walk behind her*
Me: TU! TU! Behind you lol.

second scenario.

Sarah: Why no Undertaker ah?
*Undertaker cosplayer suddenly walks by next to us*
Me: Holy shit dude.

hah!

can't wait for eoy sia
can i really get THAT in time?
haiz
must plead parents after holiday
hopefully everything goes as plan.
haiz..

yesterday went back to school for ml thing
then arinna followed me home
and we played sims...
haha the two guys are married man!!
YAAAY!
lol.
random.
and i have ONE NEW FRIEND on fb
hhehehehehhehehhe
eviiil laugh.

have i mentioned how much sarah obsessed over that kakashi cosplayer?
=D

-Zan
[ please, tell me this is not an illusion ]

20.11.09; run - this is just an illusion (where is my Dr.Acula?)

2009-11-20T21:12:00.000+08:00

I'll sing it one last time for you

Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

CAUSE THIS AIN'T A FAIRYTALE

-Zan
[

20.11.09

2009-11-20T20:48:00.000+08:00

i havent posted in such a long time
haha.
too busy perhaps
i donno lah
tomorrow is wee kim wee challenge
gaswh
mampus lah
anyway i only did science
wtf man
need to do all the other shit
haiz
now for my
random drabbles
(eh i got a new notebook already...)
aka
Bedal and Belasah Mr Willy Shake Spear.
thats the style..haha

and now i seek your company, o beautiful rose you require my company, hostess?
indeed, you speak the truth
how my i be of service to thee?
i require only a soul to speak to
has thou no company? o, what of Madam and Sir?
Madam is out and Sir is at work. i prefer you, soulless being
i am honoured by thine kind words
not only you. i seek another, ancient spirit. you, who i have locked in the dark depths of my mind, come! come hither, i request your counsel
o, how now? you seek me, maiden? how long has it been since?
mind him not, rose. do humor me, ancient spirit
are we not, lady?
speak to me, dear figments. this troubled heart seeks company
o, hostess, may this not offend you, honourable hostess, for i know of a remedy to your troubled heart and mind. it is your unsatiated desire, is it not?
let us not speak of such vulgarity
i, too, can sense it. dear me
hush, speak not of this matter. i wilt not allow this to continue
my apologies, hostess. what do you wish to speak of?
life, of its troubles, and this horrid thing called hatred
hatred. i am full of it
needless to say, i am aware, Old one
need you address me so? i do not feel as Old as they, Akasha or Enkil
no, ofcourse not.
do speak your mind, hostess. i am ready for you
he speaks of truth
i believe i am intoxicated
ah, yes, with that scent, hostess
indeed
humorous, this matter is
perhaps
DOYOUKNOWHOWMUCHIFUCKINGHATEYOU
CAUSEYOUTHINKYOU'RESUCHABIGSHOT
YOU'RENOTHINGOKAYASSHOLE
IAMHUMANTOO
YOU'RENOTTHESMARTESTGUYONEARTHEITHER
SOFUCKOFF
NEXTTIMEDONTASKFORMYHELPYOUBASTARD
ANDYOUCANYOUPLEASESTOPBEINGBITCHY
IHATEYOU

dear me, such talk. and you speak of vulgarities?
patience, hostess. it will bring much fortune
there will come a time where it will all break, and crumble
this facade
and when it does, i pray my sanity stays with me

-Zan
[ not this time ]

16.11.09

2009-11-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

lol.

that was how i looked like yesterday

when i went to watch 2012 with ruzzyy!!!

hahhaa

anyway, i tell you

my grandma rocks socks.

she is somehow...

totally supportive of my visual kei-ness..

unlike SOME PEOPLE.

lol.

that day, she asked me.

(translated from malay)

"nur, are you going to go play football?"

i was like... "no, why?"

she said, "your socks are so high"

what she meant was...

my rainbow leggings...

XD.

then yesterday,

she was like...

"your hat is small...so nice"

my mom asked her if big hat nicer (aka less stupid?)

she answered...."no lah, how can girl wear big top hat, later like guy! small hats are better for girls"

i was like..

YEASSS!!!!!!!!!!

lol.

i love my grandma...

she's like...86 now =)

she's so understanding...haha

but she thought my tobi doll was slippers...

haha

-Zan

[ vlad the impaler, prince of wallachia, black court bigshot ]